the smiles of children is the greatest reward for hard work

私の仕事は大変疲ですけど、とてもたのしいです。

子供たちの笑顔は私の宝.

I know this blog post is a little late but I just finished writing the documentation report for the Pasko ng Batang Pinoy 2011 Grand Christmas Celebration yesterday at the office and it brought me to a very happy memory. I found a treasure that day and that is the smiles of children. 

These children especially requested me to take a picture with them.

Photo by Jenny Darish

As the event was nearing its end, I came across someone I didn't want to. But then, I tried to be casual and greeted that someone a "Merry Christmas". What I got was a sudden inertia of anger and hate. My mistake took a thousand wave of unfolds. The day could have been perfect except for that part. As I went back to my post in the sound system, I sat quiet and still for a while. A child passed by running... reaching for the balloon which other children were also trying to reach. They were blocking the projector and though it was my task to  tell them to stay away from it, I let them there. It was heart-warming to see their shadows on the big screen. They were having so much fun. If I had a camera, I would instantly take a picture of them. Though it wasn't a perfect shot, I would keep it since it washed away my comfortless feelings.

Children waiting for their turn, at the inflatables.

Photo by DSWD-Central Office, SMS.

The event was held last December 22, 2011 at Cuneta Astrodome in Pasay City. Every office-mate was wearing their red shirt while the children were wearing their own colors. Yet, before the event, it was a week full of rush, frustrations, miscommunication, office-mates fighting over small things just because they're too tired. Actually, the behind-the-scenes made my heart beat stronger because of the work and challenges, than the event itself.

Me and my office mates sitting around at Lunch Time.

The only time that we had free time. xd

My Japanese friends Rulika, Zenta and Miori also went there but I felt anxious that I couldn't event take them around because I couldn't leave my post in the sound system. Rulika said she didn't expect that the event would be as big as she saw it that day. I mis-explained to them I guess, that the event was DSWD's, so it really is HUGE. There were 1,000 children who participated from 17 local government units of Metro Manila.

Me with the DJs. They let me be a DJ too, for a day. 

or to put it in other words, Sound Director. :))

Photo by Jenny Darish

President Benigno Aquino III was also there as well as his sister, Ms. Kris Aquino (and her children, Joshua and James). Here's a copy of his speech during the event - CLICK! Coco Martin, John Lapuz and Going Bulilit Stars was also there. Ms. Venus Raj, DSWD's ambassadress for children was also there to play games with the children delegates. There was also an inflatable playground, face and body-painting, food and of course, gifts.

The President lead the gift-giving.

And! It was nice to see the traditional dance called "Igal-igal" of Sama-Bajaus through their children. As I searched through the net, it is a widely accustomed dance of Southeast Asia with the body's movement metaphorically pertaining to the gentle rush of waves in the sea and the quick footwork at the bottom representing little sea creatures such as crabs, snails,etc at the shore.

Makati - my area of assignment for CY 2012.

My only wish is that the children spent a happy day through our hard work, because they surely made me happy just by watching their smiles from afar.

the leader of the band is Dad.

Today at work, I'd like to celebrate that finally, 4 homeless families that I handled has accessed their financial assistance of house rental and is now in the safety of their four-walled homes. Their livelihood assistance and the start of planting sampaguita is yet to follow. ;)

Yet today, I wanted to celebrate one more special event, and which I should be thankful for - my Father's birthday. And this is a blog post of how he has been more than a father but my English professor, music teacher, trainer in biking and swimming, editor, guidance councilor and my best friend over the years.

Papa, With Yuri and Bebe, fellow ACCESS volunteer.

He was 1/2 of the reason why my name is "Kristiane". On his dating years with my mother, they watched movies a lot and one of those was about a girl named "Kristiane" who defeated all the other boys in a competition on biking exhibition. Seemingly, he was hoping I would stand up above the rest and taking a leap in the boundaries of gender differences. I hope I did. :3

When I was 2, he cut my hair in that I looked like a boy. He really wanted the first born to be a boy and as I went out to the world, I was sorry for making him frustrated that I wasn't. However, I think I grew up to be androgynous. At times, he would comment on my short skirts, showy sleeveless shirts and make-up but I learned as times passed, that it was his way of showing care and just being protective.

When I was 3, we both waited in my the living room of grandfather's home for the birth of my baby brother. While we were playing at the middle of the night, he asked me "would you love your brother?". "Of course, I will Papa.", I can still remember that I promised him that. So I did.

My brother and me. Photograph by Papa.

When I was 4, he introduced me to biking. We would sail out early in the morning to Legazpi Port to practice. And as the day finally came that the training wheels was detached from my cute and rainbow colored bicycle, our hearts were both filled with laughter and happiness that it was my first success in life! From then, on weekends we would go the port or the park to bike, bike and bike. I guess "the adventurous me" came out of the shell, in these years.

When I was 7, he taught me how to swim. In Legazpi City, we lived near the sea. Pacific Ocean was just a 3-minute walk from my grandfather's house. My mother said I nearly drowned when I was 3 because of my father. Lol. But, because of him too, I can survive any accident in the sea. I grew up, never being scared of riding a boat. When I turned 19, I was riding a boat to Alabat Island monthly. I was never afraid because for such a long time, he already prepared me for it.

We were glowing in the light. 

When I was in elementary, he worked far away from home (Sorsogon City, Metro Manila) and that his way to be a parent to me and my younger brother, was to write letters. Each of his letters to me were written in English and had drawings of chickens or rooftops or stars. This was how he thought me English and love for the arts.

When I was in high school, he taught me how to use the computer by making me interested with Paint and games. He never stopped telling me to "keep the curiosity" and "never stop experimenting". I grew up being  computer-literate and never afraid of gadgets and all other stuffs as long as i keep the curiosity to learn. As a third year high school student, I would go home early to catch his guitar-lessons although I really hated it at first. He kept me interested by playing my favorite songs.. until the day came that I sang solo in a gathering of Redemptorists playing "Torete". Thank you for the gift of music.

At Banaue. :)

When I was 15, he stayed beside me every night when I was crying because of my anxiety in going to UP. I felt so belittled with the BIG WORLD I would be facing in the vast forestry of the University of the Philippines, its well-known professors and fellow UP students who were Valedictorian or Salutatorians from their high schools. He reminded me that I grew up not afraid of things and yet I am so scared of trying a new thing that would greatly affect my future. Amid my cries and pleas, he stood up with me on the lines to get medical certificates, enroll in classes and reserve a room in Kalayaan Dormitory. He would visit me every Saturday at the dormitory, treat me ice cream and we would have long walks. Because of those, I was able to adapt to the pressures of being a Freshman at UP. Thank you so much for this Papa.

Celebrating my graduation day with pizza!

When I was 17, I asked him that I wanted to shift to BS Psychology. BUT, he didn't permit. He challenged me to finish Social Work first, (if I really am serious with studying Psychology), and study Psychology after I become a social worker. I took it. And this year, I hope to take my Masters in Psychology.

He has also been like a father to my friends.

When I was 19, he showed me the way to ACCESS Office (even though he also didn't knew) at the day of my interview with the Executive Director and the NGO's Finance Officer. After my interview, I told them I was with my father. I felt ashamed of it, but in the end, my father became a very good supporter and volunteer of ACCESS too. In the long run, the partnership of Redemptorist and ACCESS grew.

After a late afternoon swimming at Alabat Island.

When I was 21, he became worried about my health and in everyday reminded me to "drink milk". And yes, I  am doing it so don't worry much about me Papa, okay? :3

Hanging out at 13th St, with my new laptop from him.

Now that I'm 22, we talk about work and philosophical things. That is why I want to finish reading "Sophie's World" because I also think it is somehow comparable to me and my father's story. And yet, he borrowed it and again, he would be the first one to finish a book I bought for myself. xd

I dedicate this song to Papa.

I am nothing, if not for my father's love.

Really, "My life has been a poor attempt to imitate the man".

Happy Birthday Papa! I love you. <3 - Kring

love does things for reasons that reason cannot understand.

"I am tired of trying to hold things together that cannot be held. Trying to control what cannot be controlled. I am tired of denying myself what I want for fear of breaking things I cannot fix. They will break no matter what we do." Celia Bown (The Night Circus, Erin Morgenstern)

From my friend, Lyra

And I'm sorry for very random thoughts. 

28 months or 852 days or 20,448 hours or 1,226,880 minutes.

This is not a love post. This is a post about love. 

I knew this time would come but I didn't expect it would come too soon.

It was time to say goodbye.

In the year 2011, I thought it was lost, then it came back then I realized in the last day of the year that it was a delusion. I was looking for things I could not see, in the darkness. That there was of no difference in comparison with friendship, as I felt more loved by my friends. So then, we're better off as friends. Or maybe, it was better for me to wander around the world alone first.


At times, I thought it was not the right time. There was NEVER a right time. Why wait for the right time when there is no right time until you make it happen! Untimely as it is. Today I learned... Newton's first law of motion "The velocity of a body remains constant unless the body is acted upon by an external force." applies to love too. I always believed "Love does not die a natural death. It dies because of sadness, and it dies because of lack of nurturing." I hope he understood that.

In the year 2009, I told myself "the next time I fall in love, it would be my last." And so I hold on, not realizing I would be hurt too much in the process of not letting go.

In the year 2007, I found my own definition of love, that "Love is an understanding between two people that only the two of them can understand." If there is no more understanding nor communication, how can it grow? Love starts with mutual understanding, isn't it?

Bakit sayo pa nagkagusto?

Parang bula, ika'y naglaho. 

(January to July 2011) 

- Porque by Maldita

Once a stranger, twice an enemy, thrice a lover. What's worst about love is that it consumes everything, leaving nothing behind. It drives you into sleepless nights and happy mornings. But then, all the memory will be washed away once its gone. Strangers become friends then lovers then strangers again. That is what I don't like about it. However, it's inevitable.


On the first day of 2012, I realized... Love is not planned nor forced to bloom. Love happens, as it happens naturally. And I hope, it would be long enough before I start to write about love again.


Love is troublesome. Let's just enjoy the present, learn from the past and look forward to future. 愛は面倒です。レッツが存在を単に楽しむ、過去から学び、将来を楽しみにしています。

Whatever the reason is, I hope I understand it soon.

Here's a better version, I couldn't tag in Blog Post ->  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pDR_ldGke6A&ob=av2n

there's a reason why there is only one Friday in a week.

I was there. In the New Year's Countdown to 2012 at Eastwood City, Quezon City, with friends. It was my first time to join the festivity at the Metro, as I was always celebrating it in my hometown, Legazpi City, Albay. Somehow, at the last 5 minutes of December 31, 2011, I didn't want January 1, 2012 to come and just stop time. 2011 was just so good and happy that it's a little sad it's chapter is closing, and I needed to be ready for another year of surprises. Really, time flies when you're having fun. たのしいかたですよ。

Following photos by Kuya Onin. :)

Happy New Year every one. :)

Fireworks at Eastwood City

Celebration at The Pink Room

The whole month of December was like the last Friday of 2012. Too many get-together, hang-outs, food, gifts, drinking and laughter. I enjoy this time of year when I get to see my closest friends as they come home for the holidays, or as we have more money to hang-out more. But, I always thought that after all the happiness, there is a price to pay. So cynical. That is why I'm a little afraid to experience too much happiness bring equal amount of sadness in the long run. In deed, there was... such as the earthquake in Japan on the first day of 2012. I hope not too many people get injured, unlike what Sending did nor the March 2010 Japan's earthquake.

Some happy memories of 2012....

Photos by Kuya Onin.

So I was thinking... there is no whole happiness without the sadness. I always believe that one could not exist without the other, that you wouldn't feel happiness if you didn't feel sadness. In the recent days, I was lurking the streets of Cubao, Ayala and Eastwood City. On one of my walks to find a cab in Cubao to go to St. Lukes Global City, I passed by street families and street children whose Christmas and New Years are spent on the streets. More over, on the way home, I happened to pass by homeless street families in Robinsons (Ortigas) with their make-shift homes. My work is never-ending, waiting for me. 2012 is another year to face the challenges of changing the lives of these street children and street families, and drive them to a safer home and a more productive and meaningful life. My exposure to poverty, has made me this cynical, I guess.

Street Children. Photo by DSWD-Social Technology Bureau.

And if you have more time, please watch this video I made. 

The reason why there is only one Friday in a week and only one December on a year is that, people should enjoy themselves once in a while. Enough for them to face the hardship and challenges of life that is yet to come. Probably, if it was Friday everyday, then it would be no longer so much fun.

P.S.

I found this really nice video that I wanted to share. But I couldn't embed it for Blog Post only supports YouTube Videos. This video is perfect for my blog and for all of us in 2012. Life is better when we continue learning. :) LEARN!

my goals for 2012

Today, I met my best friend from college and until now, a very close friend, Lani. The last time we saw each other was December 29 - 30 of 2011. Since 2009, we only saw each other once a year, but as I was with her today, I feel like nothing has changed.

Because we were only two, we could only take picture of each other. :3

Lani, enjoying her Caramel Smoogee and the Seafood Pizza.

That cap is Lani's gift. I really like it. 

And of course, she took the picture. <3

We think and talk about the same things - social work, social problems, love and all other small things beneath the sky to be pondered of. She has gone beyond a friend, or a best friend, she is a sister, a family member. "A family member doesn't forget another one", as I quote from my Japanese friend Shohei.

"Straight and curly" Photo by Lani.

She became more beautiful and happy, especially that he has found his God's will. I hope to meet mine too in the near future. :3

"We'll all come home when the years collide." - Stereo Goes Stellar

Photo by Kuya Guard using Lani's camera.

And she told me that she has "New Year Goals" rather than "New Year's Resolution". I appreciate this kind of thinking because if you talk about resolutions, it feels like dwelling on problems while goals seems positive, and something to be reached while being contented with where you are now.

So... as I've been pondering last week. I would have to limit my goals into only 5, so that it would be easy to achieve. Lol. And I wouldn't get frustrated much since more goals - more frustration. 

My New Year Goals are as follows:

General Goal: Healthy, Balanced, Happy 2012.

1. EAT, SLEEP, DRINK HEALTHY

My family and close friends really worry about my disorder in eating. Lol.

So, that's the primary thing to be fixed.

Photo by Jesse Altez

For it is basic. Health is wealth. I should have learned that earlier. :3

2. TRAVEL MORE

Travel with Jay to Alabat Island.

By the way, he is also a good photographer.

Photo by my BFF, Eljay Lactuan.

This is easy if I stay active as ACCESS-VOA member because I may be compelled to go to Alabat Island, Smoky Mountain and Pampanga for study tour. However, I also want to go to other places like Anawangin, Sagada, Baguio and Palawan. To go out of the country finally, maybe Thailand or Japan? Because of Kuya Onin's stories, I also wanna be a budget-traveller because life is a never ending study tour. However, all travels should have a purpose (to meet friends, to rewind, to experience new things - Haaaa. It's easy to find a purpose). :3

From one of my travels in 2009. At Alabat Island.

Photo by Shohei Kato.

I read from a blog that this is the right time, (while I'm still young and has fewer responsibility at work) to travel and see the world - so I will.

3. SAVE MONEY

I got a leap with my salary this year and yet, I haven't saved. Lol. It all went down the drain of hang-outs, clothes, shoes, books. I have so many books already in the To-Read List. I have to finish all that first before I buy another new one! Per meal should only be P50.00 but IMPOSSIBLE. =p At least, save P1,000 per month. And the end goal is to save enough money for a DSLR. Yummy. :3

This is me with Kuya Onin's camera. :3

Photo by Bro. Jun of CSsR, a person I look up to in photography.

4. WRITE MORE. STUDY MORE. PLAY MORE

Writing is therapeutic so I want to write more and keep up my blog. It has always been a resolution every year but I'll try to make it attainable by setting my goal to have at least 15 blog posts per month. :) and get back to guitar-playing.

My notebook, 3 years ago. The subject was Social Work 143.

Community Organizing.

After that, study Japanese 30 minutes per day. And as December comes sooner, try to take JLPT N4. I'm still scared to take the test, and I don't know how it costs, but I hope by this year, I have the courage to do so. Probably, it might become more difficult to study Japanese when I start as post-graduate student of Psych and still work as full-time in DSWD. Let's just weigh things at the middle of the year.

5. JUST LIVE. 

I shouldn't worry much about mistakes, frustrations so that I won't fall into depression. I shouldn't also fall into my sickness of being a workaholic because it has seriously damaged my lungs last year. Take one day at a time. Find happiness in each day, and find a way to laugh in each hour. When things go wrong, don't worry, trouble shoot. When things go the right way, enjoy it and seize the moment.

Friendship.

Photo by Yours Truly.

Life is an ice cream, eat it before it melts. I'm excited for 2012!

  

live your dreams, don't oversleep.

I had a rough day today at the office. All because of my mistake of accidentally preparing 2 cheques for my clients. I only learned the consequence of what I did when the accountant told me that to cancel the cheques would pertain going through the long line of bureaucracy of signatures again just the way it had undergone at the beginning. I'm sorry for it and because of my frustration with myself, I had many other persons whom I dealth with negatively. Like, our dear Administrative Assistant who just pulled the paper off my hands, and I strictly told him "What are you doing? Can't you see I'm in a hurry?". But anyway, after a few minutes, I didn't want my anger to be retained in my heart for it was painful too. So, I tried to make it subside and luckily, on my way to the bank with my clients, one child tapped me and smilingly greeted me "Ate!". That made my day.

Anyway, that isn't the true purpose of today's post.

With Kuya Onin and Reika. ^^

Photo by Kuya Onin

In the evening, I went out with Kuya Onin and Reika to the Christmas Party of the Bloomfields at 70's Bistro, Anonas, Quezon City. After a long last day of the year at work, I thought I wanted to enjoy this evening as a reward. And what I got, was more than that.

With schoolmates from UP, united by Bloomfields. :3

Photo by Kuya Onin

While the Bloomfields were playing, I could see their souls in the songs and the music that their instruments produce. It was harmony, it was peace amidst noise and it was a moment where I got refreshed with my goals for the next year. As I watched Rocky played the drums and sing, Louie in the base guitars, Lakan in the lead guitars and Dino in the rhythm guitars, I saw four people enjoying life, living the moment, chasing after their dreams after all the years they had gone through. I also saw four people enjoying each other's company and sticking with it, genuine friendship, I guess. An hour of them playing on stage rekindled the happiness and admiration I had for them and their band.

The Bloomfields, on stage performing Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds.

Photo courtesy of Kuya Onin.

Because of these four people, I wanted to also become a person who is actively chasing after her dream, finding one's passion and enjoying life. This week, I've been pondering with what I should change with myself for the next year (in my crowded rooms for improvement) as well as re-planning my life in order to have a healthy, balanced and happy 2012. Last year, I have been sleeping a lot, especially on the months were I was recovering from my illness. And so, this year until the next years I want to "live my dreams and don't oversleep."

By the middle of the year 2012, I'd be a post-graduate student of Psychology hopefully and by the end of the year 2012, I hope to have my own DSLR to finally hone my interest in photography and (stop getting pictures from Kuya Onin.) Lol. Anyway, I'll try to think more about 2012 New Year's Resolution tomorrow.

But, here's some pictures of me with the Bloomfields. Yey! やった!
All pictures were taken by my dear friend, Kuya Onin.

With Lakan, the lead guitarist.

With Louie, bass guitars and voice.

You should really see him dance while paying the bass on stage. :3

With schoolmate Dino (rhythm guitars and voice).

And... I was the one who took this picture of him, with Kuya Onin's camera. :D

Lastly, with Rocky (drums and voice).

I felt a little sad not seeing his drum solo last night,

but, it was a good night.

Thank you Bloomfields! Cheers to 2012! :)

patience in a fast-phased world and celebrating Christmas differently.

Just today, I realized that I had grown to be a very impatient person. In that, you can never talk to me for more than 5 minutes without me reaching for the mobile phone sending text message to another person or receiving a phone call or calling another person. It was this afternoon that I and two other co-workers in DSWD were waiting at SM Foundation for the money that children saved through caroling. We waited for more than half an hour, until I said "Why is it taking so long.?" and I added "I am so impatient, I just thought."

A Cup of Comfort / Patience

Where do we need patience for? It keeps us calm amid pressure. It keeps us sane. It makes us value time more. It makes us enjoy the moment as it happens and forget worrying about the future. It makes us contented of what is in the present, to work with it and enjoy it. This might be a different meaning of patience but this is how I see it.

Children are the most impatient of peoples, but they force us to keep our patience.

[This picture was taken by Ms. Jenny Darish during the Pasko ng Batang Pinoy 2011]

This month's character of the month at our Field Office is "generosity", a perfect character learning for the Christmas season. I learned that generosity does not only mean giving material things but TIME as well. From that Monday morning that I heard that, I tried to be give more time when talking with anybody and putting all the lists that I have to do, aside. In the length of a month of practicing, I felt more happy and I felt more human.

With a hectic itinerary, it was difficult not to do things immediately, urgently and quickly. But then, I got lost with all the things to do. Sometimes, we need to take a break and stop. On that moment that we stop, we realize the background of what we are doing and for what purpose it serves.That is why I am grateful of the holidays as it requires people to take a break, to remember family and friends and to enjoy their selves. Life is more than just work, I recently realized. Next year, I will JUST LIVE. Life is an ice cream, eat it before it melts. 

Here are some of the photographs capturing memories of the my Christmas 2011, I'd like to keep. Thanks to Kuya Onin, for all the pictures!

Merry Christmas VOA!

Japanese Dinner on Christmas Day with VOA

It was first time for me to spend Christmas in Metro Manila.

I never thought there was so many sights to see in the city!

Especially, this Christmas Lighting "Make It Happen Makati"

After a jokingly quarrel with Kuya Allan :)

Playing around Christmas statues with VOA. 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7sziH7cIKP8

And yeah, here's my Christmas gift for everybody. ^^