I've been pondering on why I feel so lazy or rather sleepy today but I can't figure it out. I've slept rather early last night at around 10 in the evening and was fighting with myself to get up this morning by 8:30. These lazy days have come more often now that I've finished my studies and graduated. I feel like my life has passed me by and that there is nothing left to do since I've been there-done that. I don't like what I feel but I don’t know how to rub off these thoughts and feelings. I'm just waiting for this day to end so that another days starts. Maybe tomorrow will be better.
And yes I've grown tired of waiting. I think all my life, I've spent most of my time waiting. I waited for Mama at school so that I'll watch Doraemon or Bananas in Pajamas after. I waited for Papa to go home unexpectedly from his job in Sorsogon so that he, Ian and I could go bike-riding in parks or swimming at the 3-minute walk beach in our barangay. I waited for Ian to finish playing Flyff so that I too could play. I waited for myself to finish high school then finish college. I wait for the MRT. I wait for my friends. I wait for Papa to come home. I wait for Ian to finish high school so that our family could live together again here in Manila. I wait for Saturdays with Pika to come so that I'll be able to spend a day happily and when that days is over, I wait again. Now, I think I'm waiting for my new life as a social worker to start, a new life as a daughter living with her family, a new life as a woman fighting for the equality of men and women, a new life as a mother and wife implementing social work principles in family life. Maybe, it's better for me to stop waiting and start living now.
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