that I am scared of man generally~

but not all. Okay. So maybe drunken ones but I'm not scared of my friends who get drunk.

Title rephrased: I'm scared of  "tambays".

Tambays are people who get drunk on the streets, pathways and corridors in the streets of Manila.

Here was the situation. I got lost on my way home and the only one who was there that could help was a drunk guy. I didn't need his help but anyway, there's someone who asked him to go with me. And I think it was a stupid decision because.. on the way, he was asking my number, was asking my age, and was asking if he could hold my hand?!!! And to be left in a house alone with him on the outside, this is scaring me to death.

Even though how much I talk and act to him cooly, close to being irrespectful, I think - there he was. And though how much I think of the theories of feminism - there he was - a product of centuries of machismo which cannot be easily daunted, changed and slapped in the face. I don't want to live in this kind of world but rather a world where women were respected and treated equally as a human being and not just a sex object.

the difference between job and career.

If you call what you do for a living a job..
you work from 9am - 5pm as expected of you,
and always wanted for the hours to pass faster,
you start your day "here goes a day again",
and you get bored in a meeting. D:

If you call what you do for a living, a career..
you work from 9am - 8pm without bothering about overtime,
and is always surprised how time easily passed by while you were doing a task,
you start your day "another day has begun",
and you enjoy sitting, discussing and planning in a meeting.

Because in the first months, I was a person who had a job but now I think I now found a career.
And these examples were how I worked - then and now.
To have this paradigm shift (Social work term) or change of mind (layman's term), amazes me.

that life is an echo, as well as it is an ice cream~

"Life is an echoe.
It gives you back everything you say or do.

Our life is simply a reflection of our actions."

 ~ Katsutoshi Kojima

When I sent e-mail to my Japanese friend (who is also a volunteer of ACCE), yahoo mail automatically pasted my signature "Life is an ice cream, eat it before it melts." I like this quote because I love ice cream and I love life, so I personally believe that I should not let my life pass me by and spent it in "useful" acts. D: I heard this from the movie "Black", a movie about a mentally-disabled person who tried her very hard to graduate in a university with her teacher (since childhood) always beside her. For the first time that she typed (in a typewriter especially for made for the blind) in a fast rate, her professor asked her to celebrate by eating ice cream. Her mother wondered and the teacher said "Life is an ice cream, eat it before it melts".

Apparently, the quote also touched Koji. :D And he replied with another explanation of life through metaphor. He said he learned this from the people in Cambodia. Life gives us back everything we say or do.. so learning from this I must say and act what I wanted to be said on me or acted towards me - similar to the golden rule.
 

What will you get back after helping other people?
Most compassionate people do not ask for something in return,
yet they receive a much greater gift in the end,
which commonly, becomes their most treasured.

that Dory was right~

when she told Marlin to "JUST KEEP SWIMMING", on their impossible journey to find Nemo.

To look back in the past is good but just look back and learn from it, never regret your decisions and never forever ponder on what could have been if one has done that or has not done this. It will make one's life complicated. Looking back, I too had thought of regret that I can never bring back the past again because of my sudden decision. But I didn't turn back, I just kept walking ahead. I may have lost friendship and trust of other people but I have to move on. There are reasons why there are only few grains of sand left in your hand as you walk farther along the shore. One may never know the reason, it's just is.

And.. in one's decision, not all may agree, others may question. Others may change how they may look at you but don't fret. As long as one knows, he or she is happy with the decision, one must continue. I cannot be friends with all. I cannot be liked by all. We are individuals with different tastes, with different personalities and with different preferences that is why there would always be persons who would never jive in with each other at a given place, at a given time and at a given situation. Maybe~ D:

So from now, whatever difficulty I may face of whatever happens, I will just thinking most likely like Dory. Anyway, my brother already told me that he sees me as Dory. "Just keep swimming~".

Hmmm. And Ending Song of Skip Beat is quite related (but it's quite mixed up with the love story but still it's about 'just keep swimming') with this blog post so I wanna share Namida by 2BACKKA. Here is lyrics and here is the song. :)

that feelings towards friends never change~

When I get to see my friends (my block mates) again after 4 months, I felt the same kind of happiness that I felt months back. Funny jokes, unrespectful and honest yet friendly remarks towards one another, taking wacky pictures spontaneously  and more was nostalgic. It seemed like nothing has changed. That's good. Errrr except for us being workers now and for new updates about love stories. :)

Dinner at Bacolod Chicken Inasal with
Ariel, Clang, Jeany, Korina, Lian, Lani and Teresa.
More memories captured in photos here. Click!
 

And.. I learned to love walking because it makes your time with a friend longer and you get to share stories more. I always loved walking with Lani and she feels the same way. While walking, she advices me about my decisions, shares interests with me which makes me want to talk to her more. And last night while we walked to the bus station, I told her scenes from a love story that she told could be made into a movie. It is the first time that she is happy about her friend's love story. I am glad. ^_^
 

When one is with friends, one will always be happy. ^___^ I don't want to end the day even. The miracle of friendship makes me wonder more than I wonder about the "7 wonders of the world."

 

that to be contented in the present is enough~

And to worry about the future, specifically your future is not much of an importance right now.

Or so I thought, or so what I want to think so. D:

I never felt more contented with my life as I am experiencing now. Though, I can say my money is not enough for my needs and I still could be labeled as "homeless" because I remain to be of no permanent address, I am happy with it. In fact, I now want to experience difficulty, learn from it and be motivated to do something to change the difficulty than what I previously thought. I think was far too lazy in the past because I wasn't doing the best effort I can in doing my work. I was addicted to Flyff then and the only thing I wanted to do day by day, was sleep or play Flyff.

Little Children Scavengers (SM2)

In just seconds things change. There was a point in time where in my mind there was only darkness and light and after that, my mind started questioning about what I do day by day, which values I treasure, which was important. Especially when I was exposed to SM2's poverty and experience their difficult life situation, it was like enlightenment though it may sound grand, but I don't have any way to explain it. Now, I care less about games and all other things I was acquainted to that now I see as unimportant.

It's a strange feeling to feel this way - to wake up early and not feel lazy but instead want to start work immediately and maximizing all the time to do advocacy, education and any other work to help ACCE.

In the future, I don't know where I will be. I don't know how poor or how rich I am but I don't seem to be anxious... if it's only for myself. The problem will come if I have my own family but then.. let's go back to the first sentence I scribbled in this blog. I don't want to worry about my future so much as long as I am contented with the present.

POSTSCRIPT:
Please support victims of Typhoon Ondoy and Typhoon Pepeng. See ACCE's relief operation flyer here. Click!

how times of crisis create venues of compassion and cooperation

by being a volunteer of World Vision's relief operation for a day.

The volume of donations received in cash and in kind of World Vision is amazing. From the vies of an outsider, they could easily implement relief operation without spending any penny from their fund since they already have many supporters. BUT, it was more heart-touching and wonderful to see people coming in to spend their day also as volunteers as seen in this picture..

It amazes me when people act to help others with no special reason
or with no agenda of receiving something in exchange in the end.

What I did today was so much different from what I originally expected - that is to go to Marikina and see how bad the typhoon's damage was with my eyes. In the end, I stayed with Gifts-In-Kind (GIK) team in the main office and counted donated food, toys and clothes per piece. It was a tiring day but I was glad to have found new friends. I am thinking of doing volunteer work for World Vision as a day care teacher maybe. As long as I have to deal with children would be fun with me - it's my pleasure~ ^_^