Writing is releasing one's feelings of anger, sadness, happiness or any other. That was what I've been doing since then.
I see no point in being online but I stay online, for the sake of someone being able to talk to me anytime that he can. Yes, nobody said it was easy but we could always do something to make it easy. It's in our hands, but I guess it take more will to make it so. I wondered before why you were thinking about whether there would be a time that'll come that I'll give up on you. That left a mark. For I haven't even thought about it yet I also thought about the same question myself however the subject was you and not me. To be world's apart is hell but to feel like you're close even though not being physically beside each other is heaven. I felt like that before and selfishly, I want to feel it again. Is it not the sharing of one's life that love is about? So then, I'm wondering why we're put in a circumstance of just waiting, and ignoring the present. In a different world apart from yours, someone is always thinking about you, worrying about you, wondering what you're doing and the same person wonders whether you're thinking the same. However, in the recent days and weeks, it has gone not parallel, not same, not linear, untouched. And I feel like as days pass by, we're slowly forgetting the past that we once were.
These sentences are just random and purposefully paragraphed that one would understand minimally. I guess it's better to keep deeper thoughts and feelings for myself.
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
Sunday, November 28, 2010
Writer's Block: That's good eats
Peanut butter in rice looks weird but I really really like it, as a child as well as mango and rice, cheese and rice, egg pie and tocino. :)
Friday, November 5, 2010
Writer's Block: So much for counting sheep
I'd like to rise up from bed again and do anything but becomes too lazy so grabbing a book, turning on the radio or sharing stories with my brother and father until we get sleepy works. :3
Tuesday, November 2, 2010
"The world couldn't possibly end today, because it's already tomorrow in Australia"
"The world couldn't possibly end today, because it's already tomorrow in Australia" - Charles M. Schulz
It's the most striking quote I read today from the Reader's Digest. It's witty yet has a full load of a message which to me means... I can only take on 8 hours of work a day. After that, my body would rumble about hunger, head ache and sleepiness. After the 8 hours meeting of our Secretariat, I would still want to reply to emails and do some paper work but I just simply can't because I need to stop! or my body would drown into tiredness. I couldn't have learned to save myself from bring workaholic if I haven't experienced intense chest pains and days of being bedridden. In the end, there is a reason why the "8-hour a day working time" was approved by the government and why workers were able to win it from their struggle with their employers and factory owners a few years ago. It is to saved the human race and to keep humanity sane. That there is tomorrow, wherein you can do your work for today that you can't possibly do when you've reached your limits. :)) It's not entirely antagonistic with "don't leave for tomorrow what you can do today" since you've already done what you're supposed to do for today or until what you can do for today. I'm getting more confusing by the second. :3
Anyway, what I wanted to say in a nutshell is, Charles Schulz tell us to be optimistic and to look forward to tomorrow.
Apart from that, I also had another thinking about "Japanese people are living in the future, metaphorically and literally".
Because..
1. They are living in a high-tech world, with all the machineries needed for agriculture to medicine available in the hands of their farmers and medical professionals.
2. They are an hour ahead of the Philippines.
I just thought, it's not impossible to invent a time machine since riding a plane to Japan from Philippines seems like riding a time machine to the future already, without one knowing it.
It's the most striking quote I read today from the Reader's Digest. It's witty yet has a full load of a message which to me means... I can only take on 8 hours of work a day. After that, my body would rumble about hunger, head ache and sleepiness. After the 8 hours meeting of our Secretariat, I would still want to reply to emails and do some paper work but I just simply can't because I need to stop! or my body would drown into tiredness. I couldn't have learned to save myself from bring workaholic if I haven't experienced intense chest pains and days of being bedridden. In the end, there is a reason why the "8-hour a day working time" was approved by the government and why workers were able to win it from their struggle with their employers and factory owners a few years ago. It is to saved the human race and to keep humanity sane. That there is tomorrow, wherein you can do your work for today that you can't possibly do when you've reached your limits. :)) It's not entirely antagonistic with "don't leave for tomorrow what you can do today" since you've already done what you're supposed to do for today or until what you can do for today. I'm getting more confusing by the second. :3
Anyway, what I wanted to say in a nutshell is, Charles Schulz tell us to be optimistic and to look forward to tomorrow.
Apart from that, I also had another thinking about "Japanese people are living in the future, metaphorically and literally".
Because..
1. They are living in a high-tech world, with all the machineries needed for agriculture to medicine available in the hands of their farmers and medical professionals.
2. They are an hour ahead of the Philippines.
I just thought, it's not impossible to invent a time machine since riding a plane to Japan from Philippines seems like riding a time machine to the future already, without one knowing it.
Monday, November 1, 2010
to open-up yourself so that other's may come in
Picture yourself talking with an old guy and him giving advise of how you can forgive yourself by letting all the thoughts fade into nothingness from your head, so that other thoughts may come in. It's the unforgettable scene I got from Eat, Pray, Love played by Julia Roberts. In fact, all I did in "All Saint's Day" was watch movies (since I couldn't go home to Bicol to visit my departed and loved uncle, Tito Jun).
Movies I watched today: :D
1. The Switch
2. Eat, Pray, Love
3. The Social Network (I have to write about it next time!)
I actually I heard the same lesson from Hunter x Hunter. Kurapika's teacher was telling Kurapika "how could I help you fill your mind when your mind is already like a cup filled with water". He told Kurapika to drain the cup first. It's true.
That's why I believe with what Socrates said that "wisdom is knowing that I know nothing". In that way, you'll start to crave for learning and knowing the things you don't know. Logical. That's the mistake of most people - who closes their shells enough and just pokes up their head to tell others about their own idea. You know what they remind me of? Turtles.
Turtles are afraid and sensitive. or a better description are snails. Once you hold a snail, they crawl inside their shells, locking their selves away from the outside world. Why are they so scared? Why do they think they know all when it's an impossibility for one t know everything.
Since a few months ago, I started to open up and I've gained a handful of learnings which I haven't written yet in these blog. Now, I'm taking another advice to "accept all the other people you meet in your lifetime as your teacher". I'll try... No, I'll do whatever it takes not to be a turtle nor a snail.
Movies I watched today: :D
1. The Switch
2. Eat, Pray, Love
3. The Social Network (I have to write about it next time!)
I actually I heard the same lesson from Hunter x Hunter. Kurapika's teacher was telling Kurapika "how could I help you fill your mind when your mind is already like a cup filled with water". He told Kurapika to drain the cup first. It's true.
That's why I believe with what Socrates said that "wisdom is knowing that I know nothing". In that way, you'll start to crave for learning and knowing the things you don't know. Logical. That's the mistake of most people - who closes their shells enough and just pokes up their head to tell others about their own idea. You know what they remind me of? Turtles.
Pictures of cute turtles are from here.
Turtles are afraid and sensitive. or a better description are snails. Once you hold a snail, they crawl inside their shells, locking their selves away from the outside world. Why are they so scared? Why do they think they know all when it's an impossibility for one t know everything.
Since a few months ago, I started to open up and I've gained a handful of learnings which I haven't written yet in these blog. Now, I'm taking another advice to "accept all the other people you meet in your lifetime as your teacher". I'll try... No, I'll do whatever it takes not to be a turtle nor a snail.
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
I'd rather have a small cozy home than a mansion.
because I experienced mopping for about half and hour and it felt so tiring. >.< I felt pity for those who work as janitors because they have to do it for 8 hours or so. But then, I could hire a domestic helper to save me from the task. But then again, I'd rather not! Because, it's like passing the "job of the female" to another female thus reinforcing the thought that house work is only for women, which is NOT TRUE. I'd rather do it by myself and share it with the male specie/s who'll be living with me under the same roof. Anyway...
I spent the morning cleaning 2 dormitory rooms in the seminary that would serve as rooms of Kamalayan from the 28th to 30th. They will have "lakbay-aral" (the Filipino term for study tour) in Manila. The purpose of the lakbay-aral is for them to gain knowledge about urban poverty and its connection with rural poverty. Another objective is to show the historical background of war as one of the causes of poverty. By the end of the tour, we would like them to realize that it is not true that there are always better opportunities for them once they choose to work in the city. In the end, we would like them to value the life of farmers and fisher folks and move them to take action to solve poverty from the rural area.
Lakbay-Aral Program for Kamalayan
October 28 - 7 hour travel from Perez to Manila | Orientation | Dialogue with the Redemptorist priest, Fr. Willy
October 29 - Intramuros and Fort Santiago | Home stay at Smoky Mountain
October 30 - Discussion about the Push and Pull of Urban and Rural Poverty | Roaming around Makati (exposure to rich) | Solidarity dinner with Volunteers of ACCE (Japanese food. Yata!)
October 31 - Back to Perez
Kamalayan stands for "Kabataang Mabuti ang Layunin sa Bayan" (Youth who has a good objective for the nation). They are an organization of high school students and out-of-school youth aged 12-21 years old from a rural poor community in Perez, Alabat, Island, Quezon Province.
I spent the morning cleaning 2 dormitory rooms in the seminary that would serve as rooms of Kamalayan from the 28th to 30th. They will have "lakbay-aral" (the Filipino term for study tour) in Manila. The purpose of the lakbay-aral is for them to gain knowledge about urban poverty and its connection with rural poverty. Another objective is to show the historical background of war as one of the causes of poverty. By the end of the tour, we would like them to realize that it is not true that there are always better opportunities for them once they choose to work in the city. In the end, we would like them to value the life of farmers and fisher folks and move them to take action to solve poverty from the rural area.
Lakbay-Aral Program for Kamalayan
October 28 - 7 hour travel from Perez to Manila | Orientation | Dialogue with the Redemptorist priest, Fr. Willy
October 29 - Intramuros and Fort Santiago | Home stay at Smoky Mountain
October 30 - Discussion about the Push and Pull of Urban and Rural Poverty | Roaming around Makati (exposure to rich) | Solidarity dinner with Volunteers of ACCE (Japanese food. Yata!)
October 31 - Back to Perez
Kamalayan stands for "Kabataang Mabuti ang Layunin sa Bayan" (Youth who has a good objective for the nation). They are an organization of high school students and out-of-school youth aged 12-21 years old from a rural poor community in Perez, Alabat, Island, Quezon Province.
Here is a picture of them after the success with the Cayacas Street Dance Festival
last June 2010. "Cayacas" pertains to the leaf of the coconuts which is highly regarded by the
people of Perez, since primary crop in the agricultural area is coconut.
They were my oo-facilitators at the "Workshop of Poverty in Perez"
for the children scholars, last May 2010 (Summer Tutorial Class).
last June 2010. "Cayacas" pertains to the leaf of the coconuts which is highly regarded by the
people of Perez, since primary crop in the agricultural area is coconut.
They were my oo-facilitators at the "Workshop of Poverty in Perez"
for the children scholars, last May 2010 (Summer Tutorial Class).
I miss them! and after 3 months of not being able to go to Perez, I'm looking forward to seeing them again. <3
Monday, October 25, 2010
it's self-indulgence to write about your love story.
The cast (Always, San Chome no Yuhi 2),
while waiting for the announcement of the Literary Award winner. Picture's from here.
while waiting for the announcement of the Literary Award winner. Picture's from here.
I learned it from the rich father of 'Junnosuke' from (Always, San Chome no Yuhi) who commented on Chagawa-san's touching story in the Blue Authentic which apparently was a finalist for a Literary Prize. He commented that Chagawa-san's writing is nothing but a mere self-indulgence or in other words, gratifying one's self through writing about own real life emotions and thoughts.
which is true.
Chagawa-san, the novelist. My favorite character, next to Ippei. ._.
Picture's from here.
Picture's from here.
However, he missed a point that art is the 'expression of one's self'. Going by the logic that literature is art, self's expression through writing is still art, may it be written creatively and beautifully or not. What am I saying.. or rather writing.
What I just want to express is that.... for people, it is therapeutic to write about one's self. More so, it is an art for the matter that I believe in art as the opportunity for every human being to be given freedom to express what goes on with his or her mind, what he or she pictures when his or her eyes are closed and to try to paint a scenery from their own imaginations may their be tools be paintbrush, guitar or pen.
I forgot where I got this picture ages ago. I'm sorry.
All of a sudden, I remembered my friend Jesse, a Philisophy student, who lectured to me before about "love as the primary motivation of any human being to take any action" such as the "Helen of Troy" or the "Romeo and Juliet" or even the fate of Marcos to be dictator with the push of his wife, Imelda Marcos. From him, I learned that "love can make one do things beyond the limits" and "be creative". I must say forgiveness to Jesse for not remembering the philosopher's name who initiated the thought.
So then, I'll continue to write as well as sing and draw about love, as my favorite subject of art, poetry and music. <3
Sunday, October 24, 2010
how to make gyoza (dumplings)
It was too early when I arrived at Ame-chan's house so they were surprised at my arrival. "Hayai na~" was the greeting. It was just my mistake to estimate the travel time 'again'. They also asked what happened to me for I was wearing a skirt. Well, after a few checking out of friends in Facebook, I figured that I hadn't change with how I put clothes on, and my friends from college are way too grougeous now and fashionable than before. Amazing! Anyway..
It was our "gyoza party"! We made gyoza, though some looked like siomai and out-of-this world gyoza shapes. :)
This is the original one:
How to make gyoza:
Ingredients: (for 5 people)
*1 kilo Ground pork
*1/4Cabbage
*Onion (We forgot about it)
*Garlic
*Pepper
*100 pcs Dumpling Wrapper
*Water
1. Make the filling - ground pork mixed with cabbage, onion, garlic and pepper.
--> Basically same as shanghai rolls. You could also put carrots if you like.
2. Wrapping:
a. Put a teaspoon full of the filling in a dumpling wrapper.
b. Wipe a little of water, painting a crescent (or half the dumpling wrapper).
c. Fold in the tip, and continue folding until you get to the other side.
d. That's it. You can also experiment other shapes. :D
3. Frying
a. Put a pinch of oil at a frying pan and align gyoza.
b. Wait until it turns brownish and turn.
c. Pour in a little water and cover.
d. Wait until the water runs out and TADA!
If you didn't understand my explanation, here's a better one. Click!
It was our "gyoza party"! We made gyoza, though some looked like siomai and out-of-this world gyoza shapes. :)
This is the original one:
I don't have picture of what we made but it looks like this,
I got this picture from here.
I got this picture from here.
How to make gyoza:
Ingredients: (for 5 people)
*1 kilo Ground pork
*1/4Cabbage
*Onion (We forgot about it)
*Garlic
*Pepper
*100 pcs Dumpling Wrapper
*Water
1. Make the filling - ground pork mixed with cabbage, onion, garlic and pepper.
--> Basically same as shanghai rolls. You could also put carrots if you like.
2. Wrapping:
a. Put a teaspoon full of the filling in a dumpling wrapper.
b. Wipe a little of water, painting a crescent (or half the dumpling wrapper).
c. Fold in the tip, and continue folding until you get to the other side.
d. That's it. You can also experiment other shapes. :D
3. Frying
a. Put a pinch of oil at a frying pan and align gyoza.
b. Wait until it turns brownish and turn.
c. Pour in a little water and cover.
d. Wait until the water runs out and TADA!
If you didn't understand my explanation, here's a better one. Click!
Saturday, October 23, 2010
how to make an NGO survive
How to make profit when you're a non-profit organization?
Even though, NGO is not about money but empowering people. We need money for the management of projects and maintenance of our office and staff. Most supporters prefer that their money be spent in the project, and not in the administrative expenses. It is understandable but the heart of the NGO is in it's staff - how can a program go on without its staff? That's where counterpart comes in or how an NGO exerts its effort for it to survive. There must be a fund-raising activity by the NGo itself, besides getting funds from development assistances, aids and funding from funding agencies.
Today, from the meeting with volunteers (with Kuya Maks, Ate Eri and yuko-chan), I learned that other NGOs use exposure tour to their project sites to gain funds. Ordinarily, other NGOs would ask participants to pay P1000 ~ P2000. However, with our past 1 day study tours in ACCE, we just ask the students to pay P150 ~ P250 for food and transportation. Their presence in the project sites is already much appreciated - since our aim, is for them to take action after seeing the situation in Smoky Mountain, in lahar-affected area in Pampanga and rural poverty in Alabat Island. In the end, we would like them to share their knowledge, skills and talents not only their cash. What's most important for us is that they learn the roots of poverty, the relationship between international issues and local issues and the meaning of empowerment.
But we might have to rethink... The idea is:
This is for 1 day study tours done by VOA (Volunteers of ACCE) in Philippines.
One idea to make the NGO survive is do a fund-raising activity such as study tour with multiple purposes. One, is to make person understand why he/she should help and to what project and poverty area s/he is supporting. Two, is to get the support, not only financial. Three, to make a venue where people in the community can voice out their problems to middle class people and in turn letting them into a dialogue. Fourth, helping the community build relationships with friends that could be their partners in changing their situation.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Introducing Volunteers of ACCE (VOA)
2010: Shino, Sara, Yuri, Bebe, Eri, Yuko, Johnson, Haruna, Nino, Allan w/ Yuko, Kring, Maks
We meet every Saturday to plan activities of changing our world into a better place. :)
It was a little sad not having Yuri, Bebe, Shino, Johnson and Haruna in the meeting but we still pushed through with the volunteer meeting today. We are still doing the preparation for the 1 day study tour by VOA on November 20. I hope it will be a good one! ^^
Even though, NGO is not about money but empowering people. We need money for the management of projects and maintenance of our office and staff. Most supporters prefer that their money be spent in the project, and not in the administrative expenses. It is understandable but the heart of the NGO is in it's staff - how can a program go on without its staff? That's where counterpart comes in or how an NGO exerts its effort for it to survive. There must be a fund-raising activity by the NGo itself, besides getting funds from development assistances, aids and funding from funding agencies.
Today, from the meeting with volunteers (with Kuya Maks, Ate Eri and yuko-chan), I learned that other NGOs use exposure tour to their project sites to gain funds. Ordinarily, other NGOs would ask participants to pay P1000 ~ P2000. However, with our past 1 day study tours in ACCE, we just ask the students to pay P150 ~ P250 for food and transportation. Their presence in the project sites is already much appreciated - since our aim, is for them to take action after seeing the situation in Smoky Mountain, in lahar-affected area in Pampanga and rural poverty in Alabat Island. In the end, we would like them to share their knowledge, skills and talents not only their cash. What's most important for us is that they learn the roots of poverty, the relationship between international issues and local issues and the meaning of empowerment.
But we might have to rethink... The idea is:
This is for 1 day study tours done by VOA (Volunteers of ACCE) in Philippines.
One idea to make the NGO survive is do a fund-raising activity such as study tour with multiple purposes. One, is to make person understand why he/she should help and to what project and poverty area s/he is supporting. Two, is to get the support, not only financial. Three, to make a venue where people in the community can voice out their problems to middle class people and in turn letting them into a dialogue. Fourth, helping the community build relationships with friends that could be their partners in changing their situation.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Introducing Volunteers of ACCE (VOA)
2010: Shino, Sara, Yuri, Bebe, Eri, Yuko, Johnson, Haruna, Nino, Allan w/ Yuko, Kring, Maks
We meet every Saturday to plan activities of changing our world into a better place. :)
This picture was taken by Ame-chan. :)
In this picture: Shino, Bebe, Yuri, Haruna, Kring, Johnson
Farewell party of Shino. 9th, October, 2010.
ACCE-Philippines, Manila office.
In this picture: Shino, Bebe, Yuri, Haruna, Kring, Johnson
Farewell party of Shino. 9th, October, 2010.
ACCE-Philippines, Manila office.
It was a little sad not having Yuri, Bebe, Shino, Johnson and Haruna in the meeting but we still pushed through with the volunteer meeting today. We are still doing the preparation for the 1 day study tour by VOA on November 20. I hope it will be a good one! ^^
Friday, October 22, 2010
the feel-good feeling brought by making someone happy
My today's post was supposed to be about nuts, warm milk and not having caffeine for at least 4 hours before you go to bed will make your sleeping patterns better... but save it for next time.
Walking past the apartments beside our NGO's office, I was comfortably pressing my head against my rounded hat and thinking about someone's reminder of me taking rest seriously. It might have been the most gloomy afternoon and the routine heading back to my father's nook, eating dinner and dozing off if not for my silliest idea of taking my father out for a movie. It was a sudden temptation that brought me and just a slip of the tongue that I said "I'll treat you." Unexpectedly, his face painted a light and glad smile that I thought secondly of saying "I was just joking, I'm saving money these days." So, there we went...
While we were on the way to the theaters, I was consoling myself that it was alright since it was only once in a while and that basically, it was the money I would have spent for food and bus fares if I didn't got sick and stayed at home for 3 days.
"Life as we know it" was about two young adults who hated each other at the start but learned to love each other by taking care of Sophie, their god daughter, after she has been orphaned after her parents, who were the best friends of the two died in a car accident. It was a trick of fate.
After the movie, my father and I walked through the mall swiftly, pass the shops and got-off the train station, as routinely as we do each time we're heading back home at his nook. By the time, we were closing home, he walked slowly and said "it was a good movie, better than Resident Evil."
"But I thought Resident Evil was your favorite", I replied.
"Yes, but I've got copies of all episodes in my computer", he said.
I didn't get it at first but I guess he was just thankful for a little time outside with her daughter and for the free movie. Most of the time, it's he who paid and I've got to choose the movie I like. This time, I let him pick but he picked "Life as we know it", probably in consideration with what I would like. Today, I don't regret the slip of the tongue for it's immeasurable with the feelings I had after seeing his smile of "excitement" when I said I'll treat him. In the end, I thought "money isn't really that important in life, but you need it to make the people you love happy sometimes." I hope to see that smile from Papa again.
Walking past the apartments beside our NGO's office, I was comfortably pressing my head against my rounded hat and thinking about someone's reminder of me taking rest seriously. It might have been the most gloomy afternoon and the routine heading back to my father's nook, eating dinner and dozing off if not for my silliest idea of taking my father out for a movie. It was a sudden temptation that brought me and just a slip of the tongue that I said "I'll treat you." Unexpectedly, his face painted a light and glad smile that I thought secondly of saying "I was just joking, I'm saving money these days." So, there we went...
While we were on the way to the theaters, I was consoling myself that it was alright since it was only once in a while and that basically, it was the money I would have spent for food and bus fares if I didn't got sick and stayed at home for 3 days.
Want to know more about the movie. Click here.
"Life as we know it" was about two young adults who hated each other at the start but learned to love each other by taking care of Sophie, their god daughter, after she has been orphaned after her parents, who were the best friends of the two died in a car accident. It was a trick of fate.
After the movie, my father and I walked through the mall swiftly, pass the shops and got-off the train station, as routinely as we do each time we're heading back home at his nook. By the time, we were closing home, he walked slowly and said "it was a good movie, better than Resident Evil."
"But I thought Resident Evil was your favorite", I replied.
"Yes, but I've got copies of all episodes in my computer", he said.
I didn't get it at first but I guess he was just thankful for a little time outside with her daughter and for the free movie. Most of the time, it's he who paid and I've got to choose the movie I like. This time, I let him pick but he picked "Life as we know it", probably in consideration with what I would like. Today, I don't regret the slip of the tongue for it's immeasurable with the feelings I had after seeing his smile of "excitement" when I said I'll treat him. In the end, I thought "money isn't really that important in life, but you need it to make the people you love happy sometimes." I hope to see that smile from Papa again.
Thursday, October 21, 2010
not to count the chicks before the chicken lays its eggs.
or not to be overly excited into something that hasn't been concretely happening.
Last night, I couldn't sleep in the thought that in just 3 sleeps, I will be striding the rice terraces in Banaue. But after packing my things for the trip and heading to the office for last preparations, a bad news came that there is yet another typhoon entering the Philippines. After the wreck that Typhoon Juan has caused, what is there to wreck more in Northern Luzon?
This is Banaue Rice Terraces. It's one of UNESCO's hailed "world heritages".
Since I don't have the chance yet to take picture from there, I got this picture from here.
Anyway, I hope we could reschedule the trip by next week or next next week. If not, then probably it would be scheduled on January or March. /sad
Last night, I couldn't sleep in the thought that in just 3 sleeps, I will be striding the rice terraces in Banaue. But after packing my things for the trip and heading to the office for last preparations, a bad news came that there is yet another typhoon entering the Philippines. After the wreck that Typhoon Juan has caused, what is there to wreck more in Northern Luzon?
This is Banaue Rice Terraces. It's one of UNESCO's hailed "world heritages".
Since I don't have the chance yet to take picture from there, I got this picture from here.
The rice terraces are around 4,000 years old! and it would circle half the world if we put each step along side each other, even longer than the Great Wall of China. It is the benign concrete evidence that Filipinos are intelligent people, as they were able to engineer an agricultural system by making steps in the mountains. Contrary to other world heritages that is now merely a museum, the rice terraces keeps on living as rice is continually planted and harvested from the steps. There are worries though since young generations of Ifugao prefer to take on professional jobs likely of the city people thus passing on the culture and intelligence of preserving the terraces is on threat and quality of the rice harvested is at the down surge. That is all I know and I hope to learn more though the trip but unfortunately... Shikataganai ne~! \ It can't be helped.
So, unwillingly.. I agreed with the idea to postpone the trip not unless, I am really comfortable with being stranded in Banaue for a couple of days. I don't want to. First, there's not enough penny in my pocket for the food and lodging and second, there are so many work left undone that I was planning to put my head and heart unto right after coming back from the refreshing Banaue trip.... Kyaaaaa~~~Anyway, I hope we could reschedule the trip by next week or next next week. If not, then probably it would be scheduled on January or March. /sad
Writer's Block: Time in a bottle
It would be fun if time stops for one to be stuck in a memory, but it would be better that time continues ticking for people to make more memories.
Wednesday, October 20, 2010
we're a generation of people making most out of our time that we sometimes forget to take it slow
I wrote this weeks ago... luckily, LJ had back-up saved.
Since the doctor told me about persons of my age are becoming prone to my sickness, I couldn't help but wonder what's the sociology behind it. I started to look at my own self and the people of same age around me.
We are always "on-the-go". We are people who tries to wake up early everyday to live our dreams - to catch the train or bus to office, to enjoy what we most like to do at work, to save money for out-of town and country trips and to stay up late at night with long unmet friends. We are people who want to make the most of everyday - resulting into insomniac nights, days without breakfast and penny in our pockets spent not on food alone but of all the material things this fruitful time of technology is offering.
Though there's nothing wrong with making the most out of our lives, we must also take a step back and take care of ourselves. So as not to suffer from pains of monthly medication and the frustration of being unable to do things that we like. Our hearts and minds may force our body to move mountains, but still, the movement depends on our body that's why we must take care of it more than we value our minds and hearts.
I've always been thinking like this for 3 months now but there's always been the day in a week that I'm plastered on bed. Just to realize, I've learned nothing at all for I haven't applied it. 3 months more to go for the medication.... I should be more kind to my body from now. and I advise all people in my age not to think that "we are superhuman", that a tiny drop of rain couldn't affect us, because it could. With regards to health, forget all about the superheroes (Batman, Superman, Wonderwoman, Astroboy, Voltes 5, Power Rangers) that we grew up with because we are all just 'humans'. Take a rest for a while. <3
Since the doctor told me about persons of my age are becoming prone to my sickness, I couldn't help but wonder what's the sociology behind it. I started to look at my own self and the people of same age around me.
We are always "on-the-go". We are people who tries to wake up early everyday to live our dreams - to catch the train or bus to office, to enjoy what we most like to do at work, to save money for out-of town and country trips and to stay up late at night with long unmet friends. We are people who want to make the most of everyday - resulting into insomniac nights, days without breakfast and penny in our pockets spent not on food alone but of all the material things this fruitful time of technology is offering.
Though there's nothing wrong with making the most out of our lives, we must also take a step back and take care of ourselves. So as not to suffer from pains of monthly medication and the frustration of being unable to do things that we like. Our hearts and minds may force our body to move mountains, but still, the movement depends on our body that's why we must take care of it more than we value our minds and hearts.
I've always been thinking like this for 3 months now but there's always been the day in a week that I'm plastered on bed. Just to realize, I've learned nothing at all for I haven't applied it. 3 months more to go for the medication.... I should be more kind to my body from now. and I advise all people in my age not to think that "we are superhuman", that a tiny drop of rain couldn't affect us, because it could. With regards to health, forget all about the superheroes (Batman, Superman, Wonderwoman, Astroboy, Voltes 5, Power Rangers) that we grew up with because we are all just 'humans'. Take a rest for a while. <3
Sunday, September 5, 2010
health is wealth
When it rains, it pours.
Or so I thought. I stayed for a month at home, resting as Doctor prescribed and I felt it's the worst month of this year for me. I have to stay on 6 months for medication and is not allowed to do community work. I had nothing to do at home but sleep, play FFVIII, eat, play guitar, watch anime or read. There are mornings that I'll just spend it on slumber as my body's too heavy and tired to even get into a slight move. Not that I didn't enjoy it, I was just not fond of staying at home anymore and I was missing my busy days in Perez, Quezon Province. However, in the last part of it, I was enjoying the vacation too much that I didn't want to get back to work. It was a heavy rain. I saw it coming but I still didn't put out my umbrella.
But then, August study tour came. I envied the vigor of my fellow young adults - their laughter, their eagerness to learn and all their energy. I want to be active again - I want to do the things I've been doing before. I felt really sad that I wasn't part of staff who walked with them in Perez, who would have helped them share their lives with children, youth and mothers. While I was supporting in the technical matters of study tour, I never felt more alive than before - and I've regained the excitement I had, in advocacy, of reaching my dreams, of living.
In this month, I learned how important it is to take care of my body - to eat healthy, to sleep early and to laugh a LOT. Now, I'm back to basic.
Or so I thought. I stayed for a month at home, resting as Doctor prescribed and I felt it's the worst month of this year for me. I have to stay on 6 months for medication and is not allowed to do community work. I had nothing to do at home but sleep, play FFVIII, eat, play guitar, watch anime or read. There are mornings that I'll just spend it on slumber as my body's too heavy and tired to even get into a slight move. Not that I didn't enjoy it, I was just not fond of staying at home anymore and I was missing my busy days in Perez, Quezon Province. However, in the last part of it, I was enjoying the vacation too much that I didn't want to get back to work. It was a heavy rain. I saw it coming but I still didn't put out my umbrella.
ACCE August - Summer 2010 Participants
with Leaders - Chika, Chas, Jas and Staff - Yuko, Kring.
Ate Sayo was taking the picture. >.<
with Leaders - Chika, Chas, Jas and Staff - Yuko, Kring.
Ate Sayo was taking the picture. >.<
But then, August study tour came. I envied the vigor of my fellow young adults - their laughter, their eagerness to learn and all their energy. I want to be active again - I want to do the things I've been doing before. I felt really sad that I wasn't part of staff who walked with them in Perez, who would have helped them share their lives with children, youth and mothers. While I was supporting in the technical matters of study tour, I never felt more alive than before - and I've regained the excitement I had, in advocacy, of reaching my dreams, of living.
thinking.. "I've got to keep living and loving."
In this month, I learned how important it is to take care of my body - to eat healthy, to sleep early and to laugh a LOT. Now, I'm back to basic.
Saturday, August 21, 2010
a thing about love.
is I never saw it coming, it kinda crept up and took me by surprise ♪♪♪
After a year, I was expecting to learn more about love. But, I don't know anything about love anymore. What I get, are just mixed feelings.
One, it makes me tremble and vomit in the nervousness of seeing him again after quite a long time. I can't even have the strength to look at those feet nor fingers. I can't stare right at his eyes though how much the inside of me wants to. At the last minute, I want to back out from seeing him again. I'm too shy. Even just his voice calling my name or some other people's voice calling his name, gives tingles to my whole being.
Two, it makes me jealous, not confident and irrational. The simple scenery of him talking to another girl feels like my heart has become the twin towers of 9/11. It makes me feel like it's not me, makes me wonder how fast I get envious, and how fast I've lost all the ideas I've learned through the years momentarily. Even so, I hear another part inside me that whispers everything's all right and that trust is the purest form of love.
Three, it makes me extremely excited. Daydreams and waking up from a dream that I was with him feels sanely overwhelming. It gives me something to look forward to in the future and tells me each day is as good as the last time I was with him and the day the next day that I could be with him.
Four, it's unconscious but there is not an hour in the day that I don't think about him. Each time I see a stuff printed with Snoopy or hear a Japanese song or write with the mechanical pencil which I teased him to give me, thoughts of him rushes through my consciousness. In simple things, I could remember him and because of these simple things I find myself smiling or tears flowing down my eyes.
Five, it makes me happy in a split second. A simple smile from him shown straightly to my face feels like heaven, a random short message of no meaning is a cup of comfort and a tired husky voice sending me to bed is such a sweet lullaby. What's most unforgettable is the sudden embrace, which felt like I am the most precious person for him in the whole world. I'm so glad and proud to say that the 'him' is 'you'. Thank you for making me the second happiest person in the world.
There are more, but I couldn't explain. I wouldn't even cover half of it in description if I try to. That's how troublesome love is, to define. However, one weird thing I learned is that all of these feelings seems reasonable and so precious to forget. May it give off bad or good feelings, I would like to keep all of these various feelings forever, in the deepest secret pocket of my heart.
Yet, it's not necessary for me to define it right? Because, I want to experience more confusion about love with you and define a specific kind of love unique for just the two of us. To put it simply, I love you. Happy anniversary!
After a year, I was expecting to learn more about love. But, I don't know anything about love anymore. What I get, are just mixed feelings.
One, it makes me tremble and vomit in the nervousness of seeing him again after quite a long time. I can't even have the strength to look at those feet nor fingers. I can't stare right at his eyes though how much the inside of me wants to. At the last minute, I want to back out from seeing him again. I'm too shy. Even just his voice calling my name or some other people's voice calling his name, gives tingles to my whole being.
Two, it makes me jealous, not confident and irrational. The simple scenery of him talking to another girl feels like my heart has become the twin towers of 9/11. It makes me feel like it's not me, makes me wonder how fast I get envious, and how fast I've lost all the ideas I've learned through the years momentarily. Even so, I hear another part inside me that whispers everything's all right and that trust is the purest form of love.
Three, it makes me extremely excited. Daydreams and waking up from a dream that I was with him feels sanely overwhelming. It gives me something to look forward to in the future and tells me each day is as good as the last time I was with him and the day the next day that I could be with him.
Four, it's unconscious but there is not an hour in the day that I don't think about him. Each time I see a stuff printed with Snoopy or hear a Japanese song or write with the mechanical pencil which I teased him to give me, thoughts of him rushes through my consciousness. In simple things, I could remember him and because of these simple things I find myself smiling or tears flowing down my eyes.
Five, it makes me happy in a split second. A simple smile from him shown straightly to my face feels like heaven, a random short message of no meaning is a cup of comfort and a tired husky voice sending me to bed is such a sweet lullaby. What's most unforgettable is the sudden embrace, which felt like I am the most precious person for him in the whole world. I'm so glad and proud to say that the 'him' is 'you'. Thank you for making me the second happiest person in the world.
There are more, but I couldn't explain. I wouldn't even cover half of it in description if I try to. That's how troublesome love is, to define. However, one weird thing I learned is that all of these feelings seems reasonable and so precious to forget. May it give off bad or good feelings, I would like to keep all of these various feelings forever, in the deepest secret pocket of my heart.
Yet, it's not necessary for me to define it right? Because, I want to experience more confusion about love with you and define a specific kind of love unique for just the two of us. To put it simply, I love you. Happy anniversary!
Saturday, July 3, 2010
Smiles and Tears
Like waiting for the bus
though uncertain when it will come,
one still keeps standing
a roller coaster ride when waiting's done.
A phone call unanswered,
but just a message could lift up,
the mixed feelings inside
is where the lines overlap.
Pain succumbs in the distance
like a pipe gradually growing rust
but overwhelming is the strong stance
of hope, of respect and of trust.
Similar to a clear black sky
of abstractness and unclarity,
but with specks of light from stars
cluttered is comfort and security.
Always, the coin has two sides
one begets the other, the other begets one,
composed of both smiles and tears,
inevitable, it's the nature of love.
though uncertain when it will come,
one still keeps standing
a roller coaster ride when waiting's done.
A phone call unanswered,
but just a message could lift up,
the mixed feelings inside
is where the lines overlap.
Pain succumbs in the distance
like a pipe gradually growing rust
but overwhelming is the strong stance
of hope, of respect and of trust.
Similar to a clear black sky
of abstractness and unclarity,
but with specks of light from stars
cluttered is comfort and security.
Always, the coin has two sides
one begets the other, the other begets one,
composed of both smiles and tears,
inevitable, it's the nature of love.
Wednesday, April 7, 2010
sometimes, you have to let go of your grip just to fall and land on a safety net.
I actually experienced this on the bus on my way home. Not as usual, the bus was crowded and there were no vacant seats so I was standing from Rotonda until Coastal Mall in the farthest side of the bus, where there are 6 (?) seats aligned. At the time when some passengers who was sitting at the middle of these 6 seats, I was excited to finally sit down. In my excitement, I lost my grip of the steel bar as the bus suddenly moved. I fell and i felt the rush of blood in my veins which sent the signal to my brain of 'nervousness'. Yet seconds later, I fell at the exact spot where I wanted to sit. Luckily, it was a good fall and I felt happy being in a comfortable place just right after feeling nervous.
And then I thought of my life now... which is again on a turning point.
In the office, they needed someone who could take lead the administrative desk. I personally don't believe it's my forte nor it's what I studied however I do remember there is social work administration in what I studied in the university. This brings uncomfort and anxiety. But I want to look at it in the framework of what our organization needs and then I'll leave the matter to the board to decide. Anyway, my skills are of a neophyte and as much as I can, I want to be able to experience and have a hands-on training of all the aspects of social work. The major worry however is would I be able to keep the high motivation, by being pulled-out of community organizing work. And to take on administrative work is not so heavy job ... if I were to base in our manual. Therefore, I could use my time to have a part-time work or to enter grad school.
Whatever may happen, I'll just ride it and then fall and then find the safety net, if ever it was not close to where I fell. :))
And then I thought of my life now... which is again on a turning point.
In the office, they needed someone who could take lead the administrative desk. I personally don't believe it's my forte nor it's what I studied however I do remember there is social work administration in what I studied in the university. This brings uncomfort and anxiety. But I want to look at it in the framework of what our organization needs and then I'll leave the matter to the board to decide. Anyway, my skills are of a neophyte and as much as I can, I want to be able to experience and have a hands-on training of all the aspects of social work. The major worry however is would I be able to keep the high motivation, by being pulled-out of community organizing work. And to take on administrative work is not so heavy job ... if I were to base in our manual. Therefore, I could use my time to have a part-time work or to enter grad school.
"It's not a question of whether I can do or what I want to do, but what I should do." - Chas
Whatever may happen, I'll just ride it and then fall and then find the safety net, if ever it was not close to where I fell. :))
Sunday, April 4, 2010
Perez is my Wonderland
Papa: Today is Easter. When you and your brother were young, we were always on the beach.
Kring: Yes, .. (nostalgic) but we're grown-ups now and even if we wanted to go to the beach, we need to go as far as Laguna or Batangas since there are none around here.
Papa: When your mother and I just got married, our place was Luneta (Rizal Park). We stay there the whole morning until afternoon. We stay by the pond where Japanese koi are and watch other people walking around. In that place, we argue, we laugh and just plainly enjoying our time together.
Kring: Really? (and was lost in her own thoughts... remembering.... Perez) If Alice has, then perhaps mine would be....
Perez is my Wonderland.
Alice calls it her wonderland because of the magic. It is where she encountered a potion that could make her small, cakes that could make her big, a place where animals could talk, a cat that could smile, a queen that has a very big head and "jabawaki" that she later did slay.
Perez also has its own magic. Memories of my visits in Perez are like beautiful far-fetched dreams. Every time I go to Perez, it's own magic sips through the inside of me. It's beach and scenery may not be as beautiful as Boracay's or Palawan's but still it has the beauty and serenity of a place that one will discover and treasure upon staying there.
More so, all the people I meet there are very kind and welcoming. Hearing the word "people", the first thing that comes to my mind is a mother who walked with us in the plain dust road one Monday morning as we visited the homes of scholars one by one. She didn't mind the time she was spending with us and was very interested in talking to me about the hidden travel spots in Perez that she deliberately suggested I should go to. In addition, the children always have their smiles and warm embraces to let me join their own-made soccer game as well as send-off gifts made from sea-shells whenever the time going back to Manila for me is coming closer. And of course, I will not forget the youth who calls me "Ate Kring" who mutually and gradually developed comfort, friendliness and warmth as me. In comparison, they are my rabbit with a clock, the blue caterpillar, the mouse, the dog that believed and helped Alice.
And my most treasured magical memories of Perez are..
(1) sitting by the seashore watching the calm waters at late afternoon
(2) and in the midst of the darkness of the night when you could see the lights in the town of the next island;
(3) walking in the dust road at dusk and seeing as many stars glimmering softly above my head (as many as I could more than I've ever seen at any place I've been to - really overwhelming!)
(4) laying on the hammock at summer's mid-afternoon under the patches of sunlight overshadowed by leaves (this was where I saw blackness then sudden all white at the back of my mind which lead to my change of mind and view of things)
(5) leaving Perez at dawn and seeing sunrise in the middle of the sea while riding the 'bangka' (small boat).
(6) staying in a bench hammock with dear friends, talking about topics ranging from war, poverty, love and future.
and I think I'll be having many more, as time goes on.
Like Alice, I feel that every after visit of Perez, it's just a dream and upon waking-up, all I have are memories of the place. But we are both wrong. Perez and Wonderland is a real place. It just feels like a dream because of the magic that we both experience with it that we both can't believe is true.
Really, Perez is a Wonderland.
And Chas is my Mad Hatter. :)
Kring: Yes, .. (nostalgic) but we're grown-ups now and even if we wanted to go to the beach, we need to go as far as Laguna or Batangas since there are none around here.
Papa: When your mother and I just got married, our place was Luneta (Rizal Park). We stay there the whole morning until afternoon. We stay by the pond where Japanese koi are and watch other people walking around. In that place, we argue, we laugh and just plainly enjoying our time together.
Kring: Really? (and was lost in her own thoughts... remembering.... Perez) If Alice has, then perhaps mine would be....
Perez is my Wonderland.
Alice calls it her wonderland because of the magic. It is where she encountered a potion that could make her small, cakes that could make her big, a place where animals could talk, a cat that could smile, a queen that has a very big head and "jabawaki" that she later did slay.
Perez also has its own magic. Memories of my visits in Perez are like beautiful far-fetched dreams. Every time I go to Perez, it's own magic sips through the inside of me. It's beach and scenery may not be as beautiful as Boracay's or Palawan's but still it has the beauty and serenity of a place that one will discover and treasure upon staying there.
More so, all the people I meet there are very kind and welcoming. Hearing the word "people", the first thing that comes to my mind is a mother who walked with us in the plain dust road one Monday morning as we visited the homes of scholars one by one. She didn't mind the time she was spending with us and was very interested in talking to me about the hidden travel spots in Perez that she deliberately suggested I should go to. In addition, the children always have their smiles and warm embraces to let me join their own-made soccer game as well as send-off gifts made from sea-shells whenever the time going back to Manila for me is coming closer. And of course, I will not forget the youth who calls me "Ate Kring" who mutually and gradually developed comfort, friendliness and warmth as me. In comparison, they are my rabbit with a clock, the blue caterpillar, the mouse, the dog that believed and helped Alice.
And my most treasured magical memories of Perez are.. (1) sitting by the seashore watching the calm waters at late afternoon
(2) and in the midst of the darkness of the night when you could see the lights in the town of the next island;
(3) walking in the dust road at dusk and seeing as many stars glimmering softly above my head (as many as I could more than I've ever seen at any place I've been to - really overwhelming!)
(4) laying on the hammock at summer's mid-afternoon under the patches of sunlight overshadowed by leaves (this was where I saw blackness then sudden all white at the back of my mind which lead to my change of mind and view of things)
(5) leaving Perez at dawn and seeing sunrise in the middle of the sea while riding the 'bangka' (small boat).
(6) staying in a bench hammock with dear friends, talking about topics ranging from war, poverty, love and future.
and I think I'll be having many more, as time goes on.
Like Alice, I feel that every after visit of Perez, it's just a dream and upon waking-up, all I have are memories of the place. But we are both wrong. Perez and Wonderland is a real place. It just feels like a dream because of the magic that we both experience with it that we both can't believe is true.
Really, Perez is a Wonderland.
And Chas is my Mad Hatter. :)
Friday, April 2, 2010
sometimes, one has to do insane things to be sane.
Right! The subject's a little far off or philosophical or more general than what I actually learned today. Actually, there was not much activity as I just goofed around and stuff in the Nook - which by the way includes sleeping <3 <3, cleaning the room, (finally) finishing the laundry and some reading. I haven't even retouched the summer camp documentation which I was by the way aiming to finish by yesterday (such an unorganized little kid >.<) and I've fallen into playing Flyff again (it's a little scary if I get addicted again). But but but at least I've set foot back on household chores and...
I just thought.. 'sometimes you have to leave things behind just to get back to it again with a more interested head and heart.' If I do things in routine way like staring at the computer doing reports 8/24 everyday then I'll lose interest and gradually crumble to losing my head because of technical tiredness even though I also enjoy doing it. Justifications HAHA.. but I still have a point, I know.
BUT actually, one thing I learned today is... 'books could be really good friends.'
It could take you different worlds just by lying around or sitting and stuff. It has taken me to Russia where I encountered a couple who got married while they were both in prison; to a theme park where I met a young girl who has persuaded her brother not to stow away by asking him to watch her riding a carousel; to a world where cats could talk and fishes fall from the sky; to the 90's where the compositions of well-known people are music to our ear; and to elsewhere and else-when that I've enjoyed goofing about.
And I couldn't have noticed how books has inspired me and helped me in my formation to be the person I am now if I haven't cleaned the nook today - now, that's a 500mg doze of sanity. :)
And another thing... (though I do not think of it as learning but more of something to continue to think about)
which explains why we have people such as Nietzche, Newton, Marx, Galilei, Beethoven.. and even Jesus Christ (who all have done insane things once in their lives to be sane.)
I just thought.. 'sometimes you have to leave things behind just to get back to it again with a more interested head and heart.' If I do things in routine way like staring at the computer doing reports 8/24 everyday then I'll lose interest and gradually crumble to losing my head because of technical tiredness even though I also enjoy doing it. Justifications HAHA.. but I still have a point, I know.
BUT actually, one thing I learned today is... 'books could be really good friends.'
It could take you different worlds just by lying around or sitting and stuff. It has taken me to Russia where I encountered a couple who got married while they were both in prison; to a theme park where I met a young girl who has persuaded her brother not to stow away by asking him to watch her riding a carousel; to a world where cats could talk and fishes fall from the sky; to the 90's where the compositions of well-known people are music to our ear; and to elsewhere and else-when that I've enjoyed goofing about.
And I couldn't have noticed how books has inspired me and helped me in my formation to be the person I am now if I haven't cleaned the nook today - now, that's a 500mg doze of sanity. :)
And another thing... (though I do not think of it as learning but more of something to continue to think about)
Mad Hatter: Have I gone mad?
Alice: All the best people are.
Me: All the best people are mad...
Alice: All the best people are.
Me: All the best people are mad...
which explains why we have people such as Nietzche, Newton, Marx, Galilei, Beethoven.. and even Jesus Christ (who all have done insane things once in their lives to be sane.)
Thursday, April 1, 2010
memories warm you up from the inside but also tear you apart.
said Miss Saeki (a character from Kafka on the Shore by Haruki Murakami).
[Apparently, she is my favorite character from the book as well as Oshima because of their depth and wit. I want to be like them.]
and I agree with what she said.
Actually, her point of view comes from a woman of melancholy and of suffering. In contrast, mine comes from a woman of bitter-sweetness which refers to someone who had also been to suffering yet given another chance at happiness. It's quite interesting that to her, even though memories bring suffering, it's still worth to keep. Memories of suffering proves that she is alive. More than the pain of suffering that comes from reminiscing these memories, is the concentration on how these same memories brought happiness at the time that it was happening, better yet, in the process of unraveling.
I want to keep living on these happy memories, to savor the moment and to capture as much details as to keep happy memories as vivid as it was live. And in times of distress or loneliness, though these memories bring sadness and pain from nostalgia, it also brings happiness realizing that somewhere in time, I've been into such kind of euphoria, of a time when I wanted to stop time. For me, this is the essence of memories - its use.
It's seeing two sides of a coin - while being pessimist, you can also be optimistic. While culturing sadness, you could always look back and feel happiness with memories; another irony of life. It's a concept and ability to remember that we humans are lucky enough to have. ^^
[Apparently, she is my favorite character from the book as well as Oshima because of their depth and wit. I want to be like them.]
and I agree with what she said.
Actually, her point of view comes from a woman of melancholy and of suffering. In contrast, mine comes from a woman of bitter-sweetness which refers to someone who had also been to suffering yet given another chance at happiness. It's quite interesting that to her, even though memories bring suffering, it's still worth to keep. Memories of suffering proves that she is alive. More than the pain of suffering that comes from reminiscing these memories, is the concentration on how these same memories brought happiness at the time that it was happening, better yet, in the process of unraveling.
I want to keep living on these happy memories, to savor the moment and to capture as much details as to keep happy memories as vivid as it was live. And in times of distress or loneliness, though these memories bring sadness and pain from nostalgia, it also brings happiness realizing that somewhere in time, I've been into such kind of euphoria, of a time when I wanted to stop time. For me, this is the essence of memories - its use.
It's seeing two sides of a coin - while being pessimist, you can also be optimistic. While culturing sadness, you could always look back and feel happiness with memories; another irony of life. It's a concept and ability to remember that we humans are lucky enough to have. ^^
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
that miso soup is a brain food!
/yummy
Sato-chan: Did you know that miso soup is good for your brain?
Kring: Maji de? (Really?) Why?
Sato-chan: Because it makes your brain work more, when you eat it. It's scientifically proven.
Kring: Talaga? I should eat more of this if it makes people intelligent.
I've done a few scanning and found that it also lessens risk of breast cancer. Click.
Miso soup (味噌汁 miso shiru) is a traditional Japanese soup consisting of a stock called "dashi" into which is mixed softened miso paste. Although the suspension of miso paste into dashi is the only characteristic that actually defines miso soup, many other ingredients are added depending on regional and seasonal recipes, and personal preference. from my brainy best friend, Wikipedia.
If I could, I'd like to have miso soup once in every day as appetizer and results would be interesting. ^___^
Thursday, February 4, 2010
to dream the pseudo-unreachable dreams.
Pseudo. I like that word. It is half percent true, half percent not true. I've gotten into depression lately, maybe worse than I had before since I thought of stowing away. Only one person knows that by the way. That day, I was planning not to show-up and continue my plan of lurking the streets for a week, just to get myself out of the frustrations and the depression. In the end, I showed up. Somehow, the superego has worked its way of hoping that the person I'd meet with will scold me back to sanity.
I took this advice from Bob Ong - to make lists... if you feel bored or sad.
As a start, why don't I dream today? :)
Before I die, I want to....
1. ride a hot-air balloon
2. travel around the world in 365 days
3. earn a PhD in Sociology
4. and have a degree of Psychology
5. then be a professor at the University of the Philippines
6. where my students would love the way I teach because I will not be the professor I hate
7. and I'd live in a house filled with books
8. fall in love... with my loving husband (whoever he is.. but he's got to be intelligent, kind and funny)
9. who would teach me how to cook because I don't
10. and we'd love each other till death do us part
11. and enjoy our marriage just as how it's done in the movies or in novels
12. have grown at least 2 children
13. one is into social science while another is into natural science
14. and both excel in music and arts besides academics
15. enjoy motherhood by spending a couple of years "hands-on" while still working on something for humanity
16. be able to play all songs of The Beatles in the guitar
17. study photography
18. and at long last have a decent artists'/professional photographer's camera
19. take pictures of the moon and stars
20. space-travel. (lol)
21. time-travel. (double lol)
22. study in Japan or any other country
23. see Venice or Athens or the Louvre
24. go to Davao - and meet Capulette. :))
25. kiss Daniel Radclife or Jude Law
26. oh about my house - I'd like to have a music room in it
27. and live with a pure black or pure white cat, I would name "Midnight" (again)
28. read 1000 books.
29. have a copy of all Urbandub's albums
30. meet de la Rocha, Zack but I wouldn't talk to him
31. attend UP Fair - one whole week
32. attend a concert in another country
33. sing/play in a band
34. work in an NGO for half my life
35. set my foot on the UN office
36. get accepted in CARE or World Vision or any other International Organization
37. be of help to ACCE financially
38. understand the laws of physics
39. get back to the natural sciences
40. for my laptop to stay with me forever ~ Neomon
41. write a book
42. read all of Haruki Murakami's work
43. as well as Paolo Coelho's
44. and Nicholas Sparks'
45. as well as all poems of Pablo Neruda
46. understand Marx, Lenin and Mao more
47. see a red sunrise
48. be healthy
49. have the wisdom of Morrie
50. reach at least half of what I wrote in this list.
I took this advice from Bob Ong - to make lists... if you feel bored or sad.
As a start, why don't I dream today? :)
Before I die, I want to....
1. ride a hot-air balloon
2. travel around the world in 365 days
3. earn a PhD in Sociology
4. and have a degree of Psychology
5. then be a professor at the University of the Philippines
6. where my students would love the way I teach because I will not be the professor I hate
7. and I'd live in a house filled with books
8. fall in love... with my loving husband (whoever he is.. but he's got to be intelligent, kind and funny)
9. who would teach me how to cook because I don't
10. and we'd love each other till death do us part
11. and enjoy our marriage just as how it's done in the movies or in novels
12. have grown at least 2 children
13. one is into social science while another is into natural science
14. and both excel in music and arts besides academics
15. enjoy motherhood by spending a couple of years "hands-on" while still working on something for humanity
16. be able to play all songs of The Beatles in the guitar
17. study photography
18. and at long last have a decent artists'/professional photographer's camera
19. take pictures of the moon and stars
20. space-travel. (lol)
21. time-travel. (double lol)
22. study in Japan or any other country
23. see Venice or Athens or the Louvre
24. go to Davao - and meet Capulette. :))
25. kiss Daniel Radclife or Jude Law
26. oh about my house - I'd like to have a music room in it
27. and live with a pure black or pure white cat, I would name "Midnight" (again)
28. read 1000 books.
29. have a copy of all Urbandub's albums
30. meet de la Rocha, Zack but I wouldn't talk to him
31. attend UP Fair - one whole week
32. attend a concert in another country
33. sing/play in a band
34. work in an NGO for half my life
35. set my foot on the UN office
36. get accepted in CARE or World Vision or any other International Organization
37. be of help to ACCE financially
38. understand the laws of physics
39. get back to the natural sciences
40. for my laptop to stay with me forever ~ Neomon
41. write a book
42. read all of Haruki Murakami's work
43. as well as Paolo Coelho's
44. and Nicholas Sparks'
45. as well as all poems of Pablo Neruda
46. understand Marx, Lenin and Mao more
47. see a red sunrise
48. be healthy
49. have the wisdom of Morrie
50. reach at least half of what I wrote in this list.
some strategies in teaching.
It's the ride home that I enjoy especially when it's around 6 in the evening. At the right side, the vast plains meet the mixture of orange and light blue skyline in the horizon. I was reading the "Catcher in the Rye" and was laughing about Holden thinking about all his dates as intelligent.. but disproved it again when the date dives into action, the intelligence of his date withers. Well, anyway, this post isn't about him. It's about what I thought as a strategy if one wants to become a good professor.
This afternoon, I discussed the basic facts about the Philippines (island groups, national symbols, cultural traits, etc.) with the new intern, Mina. I could see her reactions with the new things she learn as well as the doubts she had about the information. It would - as some would strike you to the bones such as Filipinos having a split-level spirituality and having the president as the perfect example... with her being a devoted Catholic while all the while being the reason behind political killings of human rights activists, journalist and leftist students. It's contrary to the teachings of Catholicism or of Christianity which includes love, peace, harmony and justice.
Another tactic is to use the "words" which the student is familiar with. This afternoon, I did not say culture, I say "bunka" (the Japanese term for it.) I tried to use the Japanese words I know in exchange of the English ones. Not only does she appreciate that you know how to speak her language, you've also gained her interest. It is the relevance of what one is teaching to the one being taught that curiosity is given impetus. Relate to the student what you're talking about as much as possible. Freire thought about this first. :)
It was also effective to ask her about what she thinks about the cultural traits or to compare it with Japan. Moreover, it's so simple to do - just be curious or act like you're curios to know even if you already know or you partly know - Socratic method, proven effective. It is also part of my personal advocacy, as I learned from Freire, to not put students nor teachers into boxes and limit their roles. Isn't learning more interesting if we are all students as well as we are all teachers? In that case, it's more of sharing knowledge rather than "filling the receptacle" or the teacher depositing knowledge like money in a bank a.k.a. the student.
Last. It all boils down to the professor or teacher's passion to teach - not to impress but to impart. One's knowledge must not be seen as a private property but a social product. You know what you know because someone else knows it and shared it to you or you realized it because you were observing someone else.... which means you don't know something just because you thought about it individually but some force lead you into thinking about this knowledge - the first law of physics.
What I want to say is... a professor must have the genuine purpose of teaching just because he or she loves to share what he or she knows. If one feels this way, he or she acts responsibly and genuinely concerned with the learning of his or her students (who is also his or her teacher). :4
This afternoon, I discussed the basic facts about the Philippines (island groups, national symbols, cultural traits, etc.) with the new intern, Mina. I could see her reactions with the new things she learn as well as the doubts she had about the information. It would - as some would strike you to the bones such as Filipinos having a split-level spirituality and having the president as the perfect example... with her being a devoted Catholic while all the while being the reason behind political killings of human rights activists, journalist and leftist students. It's contrary to the teachings of Catholicism or of Christianity which includes love, peace, harmony and justice.
eating dinner with Mina, :)
And so what happened... I have to explain to her again and again by using different ways, various examples, range of synonymous words and at other times, I use parallelism. It helps. I thought if one wants to be a professor, one must know how to share the idea in so many ways as possible so as to make the range of students in the classroom understand it! That's another point ~ a professor should always concern him or her self if the students are keeping up with what he or she is talking about. What I mean is that the professor, in humility, consider the level of experience and understanding of his or her students and try to explain theories, ideas and concepts in the listeners' level.Another tactic is to use the "words" which the student is familiar with. This afternoon, I did not say culture, I say "bunka" (the Japanese term for it.) I tried to use the Japanese words I know in exchange of the English ones. Not only does she appreciate that you know how to speak her language, you've also gained her interest. It is the relevance of what one is teaching to the one being taught that curiosity is given impetus. Relate to the student what you're talking about as much as possible. Freire thought about this first. :)
It was also effective to ask her about what she thinks about the cultural traits or to compare it with Japan. Moreover, it's so simple to do - just be curious or act like you're curios to know even if you already know or you partly know - Socratic method, proven effective. It is also part of my personal advocacy, as I learned from Freire, to not put students nor teachers into boxes and limit their roles. Isn't learning more interesting if we are all students as well as we are all teachers? In that case, it's more of sharing knowledge rather than "filling the receptacle" or the teacher depositing knowledge like money in a bank a.k.a. the student.
Last. It all boils down to the professor or teacher's passion to teach - not to impress but to impart. One's knowledge must not be seen as a private property but a social product. You know what you know because someone else knows it and shared it to you or you realized it because you were observing someone else.... which means you don't know something just because you thought about it individually but some force lead you into thinking about this knowledge - the first law of physics.
What I want to say is... a professor must have the genuine purpose of teaching just because he or she loves to share what he or she knows. If one feels this way, he or she acts responsibly and genuinely concerned with the learning of his or her students (who is also his or her teacher). :4
Monday, February 1, 2010
the empowerment agenda through youth organizing
by doing a write-up on the youth program of ACCE. :) Well, here goes..
ACCE believes that “The youth is the hope of the future and today.” ACCE sees young people as new pearls of hope for building new communities because they are the next leaders of these communities. In order to prepare the youth for their role in the future, ACCE promotes the empowerment of youth through youth organizing.
Empowerment of youth means facilitating the capability of youth to stand on their own. It includes developing the potentials of youth to become future leaders of their community as well as future educators of the generation next to them with regards to the situation of poverty and strategies to change it. In ACCE, the task is done through ‘collective empowerment’ of the youth organizations. Thus, youth are envisioned to depend on their selves by working with their fellow youth members in improving their life situations.
Presently, ACCE have partner youth organizations in Apelo named ASFA (Association of Students and Friends of APRIVEROD), in Perez named KAMALAYAN (Kabataang May Mabuting Layunin Para sa Bayan or ‘Youth who have a good objective for the nation’) and in Smoky Mountain 2, SSDN-Youth (Youth of Samahan sa Sitio Damayan ng Nananambakan or Scavengers’ association in community with concern for one another). The ages of youth members of these organizations range from 13 – 22.
Youth organizing is composed of (1) education and capability-building, (2) organization-building and (3) resource mobilization.
Education of the youth includes making them see the reality of poverty (which they also experience) and broadening their horizons in strategies of combating poverty. This is done through study sessions, workshops and seminars as well as summer camp with ACCE-Japan supporting teams where the youth learn about poverty, the role of youth in the community and international solidarity. On the other hand, capability-building means helping the youth enrich their skills, talents and potentials through cultural trainings. The cultural trainings include play-writing, song-writing, poem-writing, indigenous dances, acting, singing and visual arts. Student volunteers and advocates are invited as teachers in the cultural trainings to share what they know and what they could do, so that the youth members could also develop the same knowledge and skills.
Organization-building pertains to strengthening the bond between the members of the youth organizations and making the most out of the coming together of the youth. Youth organizations build the vision, mission and goals of their organizations and continue programs for the development of the organization through the facilitation of ACCE.
Resource mobilization includes tapping resources such as volunteers as teachers in the cultural trainings as well as generating funds by encouraging supporters of the youth organizing program. The advocacy program of ACCE has a great deal of importance with regards to resource mobilization. The study tours and organizing events such as “Tribute to Youth” as venue for youth to show the products of their cultural trainings is a way to gain support from other people. In another perspective, it is also a way to educate other people about the poverty situation in Smoky Mountain 2, Perez and Apelo as well as the richness of Filipino indigenous culture since the cultural presentations of the youth organizations inculcate these.
*ACCE's framework for youth organizing towards empowerment.
ACCE believes that “The youth is the hope of the future and today.” ACCE sees young people as new pearls of hope for building new communities because they are the next leaders of these communities. In order to prepare the youth for their role in the future, ACCE promotes the empowerment of youth through youth organizing.
Empowerment of youth means facilitating the capability of youth to stand on their own. It includes developing the potentials of youth to become future leaders of their community as well as future educators of the generation next to them with regards to the situation of poverty and strategies to change it. In ACCE, the task is done through ‘collective empowerment’ of the youth organizations. Thus, youth are envisioned to depend on their selves by working with their fellow youth members in improving their life situations.
Presently, ACCE have partner youth organizations in Apelo named ASFA (Association of Students and Friends of APRIVEROD), in Perez named KAMALAYAN (Kabataang May Mabuting Layunin Para sa Bayan or ‘Youth who have a good objective for the nation’) and in Smoky Mountain 2, SSDN-Youth (Youth of Samahan sa Sitio Damayan ng Nananambakan or Scavengers’ association in community with concern for one another). The ages of youth members of these organizations range from 13 – 22.
Youth organizing is composed of (1) education and capability-building, (2) organization-building and (3) resource mobilization.
Education of the youth includes making them see the reality of poverty (which they also experience) and broadening their horizons in strategies of combating poverty. This is done through study sessions, workshops and seminars as well as summer camp with ACCE-Japan supporting teams where the youth learn about poverty, the role of youth in the community and international solidarity. On the other hand, capability-building means helping the youth enrich their skills, talents and potentials through cultural trainings. The cultural trainings include play-writing, song-writing, poem-writing, indigenous dances, acting, singing and visual arts. Student volunteers and advocates are invited as teachers in the cultural trainings to share what they know and what they could do, so that the youth members could also develop the same knowledge and skills.
Organization-building pertains to strengthening the bond between the members of the youth organizations and making the most out of the coming together of the youth. Youth organizations build the vision, mission and goals of their organizations and continue programs for the development of the organization through the facilitation of ACCE.
Resource mobilization includes tapping resources such as volunteers as teachers in the cultural trainings as well as generating funds by encouraging supporters of the youth organizing program. The advocacy program of ACCE has a great deal of importance with regards to resource mobilization. The study tours and organizing events such as “Tribute to Youth” as venue for youth to show the products of their cultural trainings is a way to gain support from other people. In another perspective, it is also a way to educate other people about the poverty situation in Smoky Mountain 2, Perez and Apelo as well as the richness of Filipino indigenous culture since the cultural presentations of the youth organizations inculcate these.
*ACCE's framework for youth organizing towards empowerment.
Thursday, January 28, 2010
what my heart will do today - it will think.
Will beat 54,738 times, pump 803 gallons of blood, and push that blood nearly 6,849 miles throughout my body!
---> Got this from The Oatmeal, who redirected me to The Fitness Pal.
It's quite amusing that the heart symbolizes love. <3
Sexual. For one, the human heart isn't even shaped like these, as it resembles more of the cow's. "The seed of the silphium plant, used in ancient times as a herbal contraceptive, has been suggested as the source of the heart symbol." [Wiki] The heart shape is also considered to depict female features such as the buttocks, mons pubis and the vulva which vaguely gives us the connection of love and sex. As for that matter, it remains a controversy and upon reading, I kind of feel awkward to draw another heart to show my love.
Rationalizing emotions. As for the color 'red', it only resembles blood - the lifeline and as what we all know, metaphorically describes 'passion'. Aristotle considered the heart as the seat of thought, reason or emotion. In great contradiction with what Galen, the Roman physician, believed. Galen identified the heart as the seat of emotions and the brain as the seat of reason. He was the first one to isolate emotions from reason, pointing out the big difference between the brain and the heart - the logic and the illogical. [Yet in Psychology, the brain has also its doings in emotions - the chemicals, the neurons (I could not explain it further) but as I remember it has.]
I <3 YOU.
Therefore, the heart should not solely be blamed nor thanked for 'love'. "I love you" means there are reasons which my brain have why I do, yet my emotions makes me blind so I could not explain why. "I love you" means your emotions are making you stupid since no one could explain emotions, nor stop it from making you feel.
Divinity. The Stoics, who by the way were the first ones to consider emotions as a source of errors in judgments or as I may call them 'the first positivists', taught the heart as the seat of the soul. Though they were scientists, they were not atheists, which intrigues me. In our time, it could be said that there is rationality in what they speak of. They didn't have the knowledge of the human anatomy, maybe that's why the Stoics left the explanation to the 'soul', the divine abstractness (because they couldn't explain the phenomena yet). Since then, the heart has been considered a mythical, divine figure up until now where the Catholics still use the Sacred Heart of Jesus or the Immaculate Heart of Mary. But in our time, we could already explain it! As I picked up from my fifth grade science class, the heart pumps our blood, the blood is the lifeline. It's the central organ of the body with the function of keeping us alive. It's our switch. With the decease of the heart, so does our life ends. When that happens it should not be colored red, it should be purple!
Sunday, January 24, 2010
to feel two emotions at the same time
When I reconstructed this blog, I thought that what I would put will only be ideas and thoughts yet I forgot that humanity has another part of being human - the emotions.
Is it even possible to feel two different emotions at the same time? To be happy and to be sad. I feel happy that I am enjoying the present yet i am sad whenever I look back at the past and somehow think that it would come back, that present never came. It would be all right again and that I would feel the same happiness I feel today that I felt in the past but still the past but then it's the present. The circumstances that lead for the past that happen is so sweet and sudden, same as what I feel now but the complication is that I don't know if it would even be permitted to have a future. Complicated? Yes, it is and it keeps bothering me every minute of my day.
My friends say that the past is my least problem and been advised to move on by a couple of friends who had always been with me on the downside of my life. They know me even better than I know myself. It is the uncertainty, the distance and the sudden change. It's the cloud of black emptiness that surrounds my room when I'm alone. In the company of friends, it is hidden yet it suddenly bursts out when rubbed lightly, as I've seen it.
Confusion. Complicated. Confusion. Complicated. Yet Happy Yet Sad Yet Happy.
It has always been hurt. It never had happy endings, never was meant to be? Or maybe never was given effort to be meant to be? This is not a curse as I wouldn't believe it is but it's a sad phenomena that it always doesn't work out. I've always seen it in the early stages - the budding of attraction, the emotional explosion at the memory as well as the time together and the always interesting getting-to-know. It changes in a matter of 2-3 months, maybe because I also changed. At the early stage, I would be the scrutinizing critical hard-headed 'yin' but as time pass, I become softer.. almost equal to a fool and a martyr. Pessimism has never been a factor since whom he is in the now is what I visualize in the future.
It's the dream, the pang of guilt with sweet memories and the nostalgia every parting time. It's your gentleness, your wit, your perfectness. It's the physical, emotional and psychologcal satisfaction at the moment, I didn't want to end. I never want for the next day to come. It feels so right even when we think it's wrong. I'm at a loss of words and rationalizations when I'm with you. All I want to do is make you happy but then I know I make you feel sad. Is it even possible for us to be this way?
Is it even possible to feel two different emotions at the same time? To be happy and to be sad. I feel happy that I am enjoying the present yet i am sad whenever I look back at the past and somehow think that it would come back, that present never came. It would be all right again and that I would feel the same happiness I feel today that I felt in the past but still the past but then it's the present. The circumstances that lead for the past that happen is so sweet and sudden, same as what I feel now but the complication is that I don't know if it would even be permitted to have a future. Complicated? Yes, it is and it keeps bothering me every minute of my day.
My friends say that the past is my least problem and been advised to move on by a couple of friends who had always been with me on the downside of my life. They know me even better than I know myself. It is the uncertainty, the distance and the sudden change. It's the cloud of black emptiness that surrounds my room when I'm alone. In the company of friends, it is hidden yet it suddenly bursts out when rubbed lightly, as I've seen it.
Confusion. Complicated. Confusion. Complicated. Yet Happy Yet Sad Yet Happy.
It has always been hurt. It never had happy endings, never was meant to be? Or maybe never was given effort to be meant to be? This is not a curse as I wouldn't believe it is but it's a sad phenomena that it always doesn't work out. I've always seen it in the early stages - the budding of attraction, the emotional explosion at the memory as well as the time together and the always interesting getting-to-know. It changes in a matter of 2-3 months, maybe because I also changed. At the early stage, I would be the scrutinizing critical hard-headed 'yin' but as time pass, I become softer.. almost equal to a fool and a martyr. Pessimism has never been a factor since whom he is in the now is what I visualize in the future.
It's the dream, the pang of guilt with sweet memories and the nostalgia every parting time. It's your gentleness, your wit, your perfectness. It's the physical, emotional and psychologcal satisfaction at the moment, I didn't want to end. I never want for the next day to come. It feels so right even when we think it's wrong. I'm at a loss of words and rationalizations when I'm with you. All I want to do is make you happy but then I know I make you feel sad. Is it even possible for us to be this way?
Saturday, January 23, 2010
that confusion is the best path to clarity.
We can never have this side if we never have the other. There is no east when there is no west, no love when there's no hate and so there is no clarity with no confusion. It's the natural way of the attraction of opposites, a contradiction's need for the other in order to continually exist. The antithesis, we always need it.
I'm confused with love, with work and religion and I feel down-trodden that I have to seek answers to these 3 questions in my mind all in the same time. I think these three are all essentials in what we call 'life' or maybe in what I call 'my life' because it's those three that worked in the larger sphere of my consciousness that's why I continued to live. But then, a brick of un-lateral continuity (borrowed from Geology) hit the three and in a sense, my senses are failing.
Love.. is bullshit (as Urbandub sings) when you keep being rubbed by it. (The romantic love I mean) But then, I could always be at fault for my decisions yet I never want to regret. Maybe pride enters into the subject or maybe there is really what Jesse says my 'rationalizations'. "To be label one as feeler or a thinker is out of the question for we are all thinkers and feelers our selves", he said. Lagot siya kay Jung. xd Love makes me sad but then it also makes me happy. "Love is made of smiles and tears", as a key-chain from a friend once said. A thousand miles away, you are. I should be doing poetry right now. And in all these clarity, I'm still confused so I am letting it all go. To keep the bitterness is not my nature for I've always been into sweets.
Work. The pressures are coming - my family and my friends. The responsibility of being the first-born is dragging me into the perspective that 'I should be able to make more money, support the family' though I've always been contented with my work. I was happy. Before, money didn't matter for as long as I find dignity, pleasure and contentment with my work. It was a dream come true - to finally be with people doing every pinch of detail in order to make this world a better place. Yet, I have to make the decision and I already did and some were already set into motion - the only task that's left is letting go. I would, I would.
Religion. I lost my faith in religion (another Urbandub song, xd). As I dove deeper in reality and concreteness of poverty, the more I see how somehow the church has its' hands on preserving it. Into making one believe about the divinity, that there is one savior in all our sufferings, i see the blindness of the faith of the poor people and of the hopeful yet equally hopeless condition of them. "Religion is the opium of the masses", it's true. I even once cried in feeling the emptiness when I tried to rip all the faith off. I walked as an atheist for a few weeks, even debated and questioned my seminarian friends. But one stood still and listened to my confusion and Harold made me remember that I am living in a different kind of faith and of religion - Liberation Theology, the Redemptorists. As long as it's with the Redemptorists, I'm okay. There are always these questions yet these questions could be channeled in Philosophy and Theology so as to bring it back into Science. Anyway, it was philosophy that started the inquiry. :)
So, not all of these are clear. I think it made even more confusion when I started to reflect as I was writing this blog. But I'm in the right path. Or so I think. Good morning bones! (another Urbandub song) :)
I'm confused with love, with work and religion and I feel down-trodden that I have to seek answers to these 3 questions in my mind all in the same time. I think these three are all essentials in what we call 'life' or maybe in what I call 'my life' because it's those three that worked in the larger sphere of my consciousness that's why I continued to live. But then, a brick of un-lateral continuity (borrowed from Geology) hit the three and in a sense, my senses are failing.
Love.. is bullshit (as Urbandub sings) when you keep being rubbed by it. (The romantic love I mean) But then, I could always be at fault for my decisions yet I never want to regret. Maybe pride enters into the subject or maybe there is really what Jesse says my 'rationalizations'. "To be label one as feeler or a thinker is out of the question for we are all thinkers and feelers our selves", he said. Lagot siya kay Jung. xd Love makes me sad but then it also makes me happy. "Love is made of smiles and tears", as a key-chain from a friend once said. A thousand miles away, you are. I should be doing poetry right now. And in all these clarity, I'm still confused so I am letting it all go. To keep the bitterness is not my nature for I've always been into sweets.
Work. The pressures are coming - my family and my friends. The responsibility of being the first-born is dragging me into the perspective that 'I should be able to make more money, support the family' though I've always been contented with my work. I was happy. Before, money didn't matter for as long as I find dignity, pleasure and contentment with my work. It was a dream come true - to finally be with people doing every pinch of detail in order to make this world a better place. Yet, I have to make the decision and I already did and some were already set into motion - the only task that's left is letting go. I would, I would.
Religion. I lost my faith in religion (another Urbandub song, xd). As I dove deeper in reality and concreteness of poverty, the more I see how somehow the church has its' hands on preserving it. Into making one believe about the divinity, that there is one savior in all our sufferings, i see the blindness of the faith of the poor people and of the hopeful yet equally hopeless condition of them. "Religion is the opium of the masses", it's true. I even once cried in feeling the emptiness when I tried to rip all the faith off. I walked as an atheist for a few weeks, even debated and questioned my seminarian friends. But one stood still and listened to my confusion and Harold made me remember that I am living in a different kind of faith and of religion - Liberation Theology, the Redemptorists. As long as it's with the Redemptorists, I'm okay. There are always these questions yet these questions could be channeled in Philosophy and Theology so as to bring it back into Science. Anyway, it was philosophy that started the inquiry. :)
So, not all of these are clear. I think it made even more confusion when I started to reflect as I was writing this blog. But I'm in the right path. Or so I think. Good morning bones! (another Urbandub song) :)
Friday, January 22, 2010
after 23 years, the life of our farmers hasn't changed.
January 22, 1987 - It's called the Black Thursday and what most people know as the "Mendiola Massacre". In this day, 13 peasants were killed, 39 had gunshot wounds and 12 sustained minor injuries.
It was just weeks right after President Marcos stepped-down from presidency and Corazon Aquino was hailed as the Philippines' new president. A product of a revolution? Not so.
It was just weeks right after President Marcos stepped-down from presidency and Corazon Aquino was hailed as the Philippines' new president. A product of a revolution? Not so.
Even after Cory's death and Noynoy's attempt for presidency, farmers could not still forget the haunt and hollow which embraced them because of the Aquino's. For one, is the Mendiola Massacre. Second, the Hacienda Luicita Massacre and three, San Miguel Beer workers' continuous suffering, and four, the peasants until today still tilling their vast lands while Kris Aquino sits comfortably in "The Buzz" mourning about her beloved James Yap going after another girl. They are a perfect example of a feudal lord turned capitalist turned bureaucrats. The rich people - they always have been.
What did the peasants asked from the government that day?
It was agrarian reform - genuine agrarian reform. It was a year after that the CARP, which stands for the Comprehensive Agrarian Reform Program, was passed. Yes, we do have CARP but what difference does it make? Even in its extension, the loopholes of the said law are still working its way to preserve the wealth of the wealthy. In the Philippine government with which most of the personas are land lords, who would be interested enough to support genuine agrarian reform?
The need for Agrarian Reform.
Agrarian reform is the first step for development as proved by a first world nation such as Japan. After the war, Japan redistributed the lands to the peasants while the former land lords were asked to give in but will be supported with their industries. In the Philippines, there are lands which are left uncultivated, which remains as one's property waiting to be sold to another multi-national company. In the Philippines, 3/4 of our population are farmers as well as 3/4 of our lands remain agricultural. If these lands could have been given to the peasants with support for the development of agriculture, there could have been more yield, and technological advancements could have come from the peasants themselves who knows 'the soil they are tilling'. The land lords in their majestic seats would not take the time for thinking about these advancements as they would be contented with the fact that they receive 30% of the farmers' harvest, the land lease and the thought that the peasants have more than years to work for them as payment of their debts.
After agricultural development through agrarian reform could industrialization only come after. This is yet another reality in our country - that we do not even have a factory to produce a needle. The benign joke is that 'our only industry is the showbiz industry'. When can industry proliferate if the yields are not high, if there is no raw materials to use? At this time, we do have the raw materials... but the owner isn't the Filipinos and even if the Filipinos were the ones who planted it, they are not the ones who eat.
After 23 years, the farmers are still the tillers yet not the consumer of what they till. Could we not feel more guilty about it?
Credits: Picture from http://donutsinbed.wordpress.com.
What did the peasants asked from the government that day?
It was agrarian reform - genuine agrarian reform. It was a year after that the CARP, which stands for the Comprehensive Agrarian Reform Program, was passed. Yes, we do have CARP but what difference does it make? Even in its extension, the loopholes of the said law are still working its way to preserve the wealth of the wealthy. In the Philippine government with which most of the personas are land lords, who would be interested enough to support genuine agrarian reform?
The need for Agrarian Reform.
Agrarian reform is the first step for development as proved by a first world nation such as Japan. After the war, Japan redistributed the lands to the peasants while the former land lords were asked to give in but will be supported with their industries. In the Philippines, there are lands which are left uncultivated, which remains as one's property waiting to be sold to another multi-national company. In the Philippines, 3/4 of our population are farmers as well as 3/4 of our lands remain agricultural. If these lands could have been given to the peasants with support for the development of agriculture, there could have been more yield, and technological advancements could have come from the peasants themselves who knows 'the soil they are tilling'. The land lords in their majestic seats would not take the time for thinking about these advancements as they would be contented with the fact that they receive 30% of the farmers' harvest, the land lease and the thought that the peasants have more than years to work for them as payment of their debts.
After agricultural development through agrarian reform could industrialization only come after. This is yet another reality in our country - that we do not even have a factory to produce a needle. The benign joke is that 'our only industry is the showbiz industry'. When can industry proliferate if the yields are not high, if there is no raw materials to use? At this time, we do have the raw materials... but the owner isn't the Filipinos and even if the Filipinos were the ones who planted it, they are not the ones who eat.
After 23 years, the farmers are still the tillers yet not the consumer of what they till. Could we not feel more guilty about it?
Credits: Picture from http://donutsinbed.wordpress.com.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)