defying one's shake, rattle and roll

is just easy. Go with it.

There will be points in your life where you thought that you've reached the peak, where you learned contentment and thought that you might live on in the future continuing what's in the now. Then all of a sudden, a strong earthquake will strike wherein the stable land that you're standing in will get a crack, gradually break and soon you'll fall. The crack, that is where I am.

It's been almost 6 years since I moved in Manila to prepare myself in the life of a university student. In the 4 years that I've been here, I became contented with late night chats or getting used to insomnia because of school work. I got used to friends who'll spend overnight at other friends' house, of eating at McDonalds, of keeping one's self happy through concerts, movies, anime and all commercialism has to offer. In the next 2 years, I'd spent in on travelling and meeting other people which kept me sane in as if the world was my playground and every people I met is a grain of sand which glides away from my hand soon after I picked it up from the beach. All these getting used to drove me to contentment, of standing on the edge of the Earth but in a solid ground.

Until I went home to Bicol... In a little less than 5 days, all those huge chunk of nostalgia hit me. Bit by bit, the memories which I thought I have buried in time sink in my senses and sing "it's all coming back to me, all coming back to me now". I met my friends again, relatives, playmates, as well as the then lovers. Their life has moved just a bit, but it's been just like before, yet with a few improvements of icing or spice on top.

A friend told me that he wouldn't want to move to Manila and he'll enjoy married life and die, in the same place where he grew up, in our barangay. While another told me, he feels exactly how I feel - Bicol has shrunk, and that to get married and stay in Bicol for the rest of his life is now an impossible reality. Friends who now have children taught me to be serious with love and to take each step with benign wisdom.

In two, or three or four or five years, I'll be in the exact position as them - learning how to prepare milk for my baby. But I'm caught in wonder, how I should choose the person to marry. It is not given in a piece of paper after solving a puzzle and definitely not like winning in a lottery, where you'll get the ideal person you've been praying for.

Before my writing has taken me to another planet because of the rush of thoughts, one thing I just want to ponder from now is how to defy this sudden shake of a question - would I want to stay the same in the next three, four or five years? And my decision is just to go with it, let the ground gradually break and I'll see what I'll do after I have fallen. Usually, I do best when I've already fallen.